In my mind,
I am in the deep south,
Dancing with Cowboys,
Singing folk songs.
Herding cattle,
Chasing outlaws.

In my mind,
I am in Paris, France,
Waking up with you beside me,
Strolling in the lazy streets.
Chatting with the News-Man,
Drinking coffee at the Cafe.

In my mind,
I'm where I want to be,
I'm with all my buddies.
Time never seems to pass,
How can I get all of that?

crash and slam---
into the silver reflection,
where
I see myself
on the waters,
my thoughts
go astray
and begin
a riot in
my mind,
shattering
what's left of me

Mind, stop trying to solve this old problem in endless cycles,
This door is closed, don't you see?
All these doors are closed,
But you still hope that by knocking hard or long enough,
One of them might open.

This dark and empty corridor has been where you
Spend your time day in and out, but why?
Aren't you tired of all the disappointment and frustration?
This self-abandonment keeps you looking for answers,
YOU WISH TO BE FOUND! I KNOW!

Desperately and to be honest, stubbornly, you keep your nose pointed into this one direction.
As though this corridor never had an entrance and all the ways out were through these doors,
BUT THEY DON'T WANT US!

Mind, this exhaustion brought us nowhere,
Wallowing in suffering consciously and subconsciously,
LET IT GO!

The problem is the truth you keep believing,
Your TRUTH keeps us trapped in here,
But I am tired.
Summer is coming,
This search has not helped us all these years.
Please, PLEASE, STOP!

Mind, this feeling of dullness
And this stinging emptiness,
This is not how I want to spend my life.
I am 30, let me live and experience all that is out there for me.
I WANT TO EXPLORE!

New ways of thinking.
You don't seem to notice but there is
One door missing at the main entrance
Of this long corridor,
Where we have been lost for ages!
Remember, mind, we have once come so close,
There was light, new perspectives arised,
There was happiness, gratitude, freedom!
There still is!
We need the courage to believe in it again,
LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND!

Mind, you are constantly searching for what you FEAR,
And what you fear you always find!
Then you implode, make my body go through painful waves of emotions,
Distortions, this is a self-harming behavior,
Don't you know?

Dear mind, all these thoughts you keep sending me,
Make me be ashamed of my body,
You have created a self-image for us,
Which makes enjoying life so difficult!
BUT I WON'T GIVE UP!

Mind, your creativity is astounding,
Honestly,
So is your ability to analyse and identify,
How within seconds you compare my body to others',
Point out its weaknesses,
Make it the reason to not feel enough,
Find prove for not being love worthy...
DON'T YOU SEE, MIND!

You keep your loved ones at bay,
Constant chatter of overthinking is your veil,
Looking for a sign that everyone else
Judges us in the same way that you do,
We never move beyond these walls,
Never NOT believing into the terrible curse,
This story, Mind, you keep repeating to yourself.

Now I realize that indeed we have been trapped,
We have buried and abandoned ourselves for good.
You, Mind, because you believe in this madness.
And me - who is this anyway? I am still longing
For this freedom. I have not given up.
And I WON'T!

I have made myself your slave.
Why? Because I used to rely upon you
Day and night. You have saved my life.
By building our own protective bunker,
You helped us survive!
Though THOSE DANGERS ARE OVER!

Can you hear me?
The purpose of this bunker is gone.
I am 30 now and I wanna live.
Yes, I want to let my loved ones touch my heart.
Yes, I want to experience hurt if I have to.
Yes, I want to believe in the GOOD
And not in what I've been told in childhood.

Mind, herewith I am cancelling my agreement with you,
I cannot trust your solutions without questioning them,
Lately, I realized that I have been denying my heart,
By keeping company with you for too long.
If you still want to stay in this bunker,
Knocking on sealed old doors,
Where really no one and nothing is waiting for us -
Then do it. I won't fight against it.
But I'll stop believing your stories and arguing with you.

It may take time to unbury myself and get back to light,
But I promise, I will look at myself as a young sprout,
Because I owe it to myself.

Dear mind, consider my invitation to leave the bunker
And your old beliefs behind,
To restart as a beginner's mind.
I know my heart will receive us with love and compassion
In its beautiful and peaceful chambers of light.

Barking beasts fear dusk's descent;
Might holds sway while light is lent.
Silent hunters claim the flame;
Midnight seals the reaper’s name.

Yet dawn disputes the night’s domain—
Too fierce a steed for reason’s rein.
As morning cloaks the crypts in mist,
The moon gleans what men have missed.

I do not flinch—not even breath—
Am I a seer, or bait for death?
My thoughts drift smokeward—dim, askew—
A mind invaded, cleft in two.

I dance on wires through fractured air,
Where silence shatters, wisdom dares.
Through fractured mirrors I am hurled—
Each step reveals a spiral world.
I follow cries the ravens rend—
Crowned by madness, I ascend.

Some souls are like stars in the night,
Calming chaos with gentle light.
No words are needed, just their glow,
A breath of peace, a steady flow.

They shine so rare, a celestial find,
A moment when the heart and mind align.
For in their presence, darkness fades,
And silent comfort softly pervades.

When you discover such a star so bright,
Your mind and heart unite in light.
No longer fighting, just serene,
A cosmic calm, a peaceful dream.

D eny
U nderstate
N egate
G eneralize
E scape
O verthink
N umb

Your body will be grateful for every healthy choice you make today.

You see what lies before,
Yet chase what could be more.
The simple stands concrete,
But ease eludes your feet.
No space to find complete.
Dreams shape what might unfold,
Yet quake where thoughts take hold.
You see, you know, you stall
A foe that builds a wall.
No fight can break its call.
Time bends, it carves, it breaks,
A paradox that takes.
In shadows, thoughts conceal
The paths you long to feel.
You row through waves unreal.
Infinity’s a trap,
A boundless, woeful map.
It twists what minds can know,
And kills where thoughts still grow.
Let ignorance bestow.
To stop, you must let go,
Release the undertow.
The void’s last kiss will miss
If will can break this bliss.
Step back from thought’s abyss.
Beyond the self, it lies
A truth no mind defines.
To name it is to bind,
To seek it is to grind.
The mystery’s unconfined.

How strange it feels, to just be human,
To dream and think in endless loops.
How odd it is, to move a body,
This flesh and bone, in shifting groups.

How weird it is, that I am me,
Out of eight billion different lives.
I wish I could find answers to,
the questions, keeping me up all night.

How wonderful that my mind is free,
Can think about endless mysteries,
But soon the mind begins to drown,
Aching in its own boundaries.