210 college credits...
5 years of understanding physics concepts...
and 9 months of math problems...
makes me still freshman.

Every day in math I face the halting problem:
whether I can finish a proof,
or whether I will go on trying to prove forever.
At any given point
all problems become an undecidable problem.
Time for a break.

life is an equation.

not a simple y = mx + b curve

rather one with countless variables
leading to one solution with each combination

think about it.

what I call variables, philosophers would call free will
and albeit a select number of variables are within our control
hundreds of others are not

if you find yourself stuck
with a conclusion you deem incorrect
or a development you know can't be the answer
always remember that your input controls the output

change the variables within your control

I truly must shut down my right-brain from seeking more meaning from my partial left-brain understanding,
or else I'll lose sight of any lesson except the utmost whole.

...is like solving a crime that has left microbial evidence all over the city and in the adjoining ocean.

If it doesn't matter spacially whether there is a 1st or 2nd, etc., connection, then this matter shouldn't matter within reason.
As long as a connection is made or not made, that is all that will stand out.  
The kind of connection made cannot be spacially signified except via overlap or by tangency, so therefore, within reason the kind of connection made should not stand out either.
Therefore, this subject of topology is really a matter of 'connect the dots'.

Self-studying is the dichotomy of enthusiastically knowing more and insignificantly knowing nothing, along with the roots and branches of motivation

I just use constructive proofs, which creates or gives a method of creating an object.
I use intuitionistic logic by not using the law of the excluded middle where either the proposition of its negation is true.
I use the law of non-contradition and law of identity.
Or, maybe I just use a lot of fuzzy logic, which utilizes data that is vague or imprecise.

I found a reason to continue.

Math is a kind of "Chaos magic" - look it up.
How symbols are used, determines the effects from doing it.
D- or F material for a school, but sublime sunshine autodidactic style.

Differential manifolds works on the visual status of my brain just as elements or compounds reacting with each other exchanging electrons.
How simple to imply, how hard to deduce.
Who needs these similes?