I have dealt with many things,
but to you I am just dramatic,
a lier even.
Whenever I open my heart,
you shove it into a box,
making it harder every time.

"I'm Depressed"
I finally tell you,
seeking comfort in your words,
even though they scare me further.

But, you let me down,
you told me the words I feared the most.
                  "Your just a teenager, you don't know what that means"

Then, what's wrong with me?
Why do I dream of jumping off,
of never coming back.

Maybe I'm just being a teen,
or maybe that's just a lie.

I never really believed in love,
well, not anymore.

Before reality hit me,
I dreamed of these cheesy romance novels,
always wishing it would happen it me.
But, the universe had other plans.

Over time, I noticed my parents fights,
as they grew bigger,
I felt weaker.

They never seemed to be in love,
never once.
That's when it all started.

As I grew up, I fell in love,
not once,
but twice.
And both times it ended,
leaving my heart in pieces.

The first time, it was a childish one,
It was your typical enemies to lovers,
and I thought it was perfect.
But, time went by,
I even dated him,
though, my love was not strong enough,
just to keep him by my side.

I moved on,
just adding an extra lock on my heart,
vowing to not open it,
at least till I was older.

I broke that vow.

The second time,
I never got to tell him.
We were best friends,
still are,
at least in my eyes.
I'll never be able to tell him that,
cause' I don't know where he left.

I never told him,
because the same locks that made me feel safe,
refused to unlock,
shattering my heart further.

I don't know if the numbness will ever go away.
All I know is that, in the end,
love broke me.

Now I don't trust it.

I remember smiling brightly
and laughing
when talking about you–
as if you were still alive.
I don’t know who I was lying to,
if to them,
to your memory
or to myself.

I remember loving you on a sunny day
Roses and Kisses
You said I’d never get away
But somehow things began to slip away
Will you still listen?
To one more thing I want to say

I just want to see you one more time
Feel the warmth of your hand in mine
Taste your ruby lips of wine
Will you stand here by my side?
Pledge you’ll never say goodbye
Love me ‘till the end of time
My metaphor love

I remember long walks in the night
Holding you closely
Kissing you under the moonlight
Everything back then was so special to me
Life was so simple
Take me back to yesterday

I just want to see you one more time
Feel the warmth of your hand in mine
Taste your ruby lips of wine
Will you stand here by my side?
Pledge you’ll never say goodbye
Love me ‘till the end of time
My metaphor love

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I was there all the time, while you were gone
One day you were there, the next day, gone
Everything was going good
So I never understood what went wrong
I never understood what I did so wrong
Because one day you were there
And the next day; bright, and early, gone
I never understood how another girl
Became your "number one"
Things started to turn south
When I noticed you were gone more
You'd make sure you were always quiet
When you managed to make your way home
And came through the door
Quiet as can be, so you didn't wake me up
Because you didn't want me to know
That you were actually out after work
With some girl who had a baby
Which made you look like a creep
How could you hit me below the belt, so deep?
You went and wandered the streets
Looking for someone else to satisfy
You and your petty selfish needs
You were playing house with someone else
Giving someone else the attention I was supposed to get
Not even caring to ask how I even felt
You hit me in the face one, slapped rather
That was a one time thing, not a big deal or matter
Because you hit me in front of my mother
And she told you point blank
"If you're going to hit my daughter;
You need to take a breath and really think"
And then I chimed in with;
"It's okay because if he ever tries or does it again;
I'll go to jail for breaking his **** hand."
The audacity this fool think he had
Cheated on me because I can't have kids
And he apparently wanted to be a dad
All you had to do was say something to me
That's something I would have come to understand
But instead you became unfaithful and left me sad
I really had feelings for you because I became obsessed
Starting going to work with you
And sitting in your vehicle for 8-12 hours like I was possessed
You drove me so crazy I didn't know what else to do
Then one day it all became clear
I wasn't needed anymore here
So I left, and never looked back.

Stephanie A. Ludwig
04/25/2025

I miss you everyday,

wishing it didn’t end that way,

because since then, nothing has been the same.


I miss you everyday,

as you always put a smile on my face,

for a piece of my heart has been replaced,

with an ache, I cannot take.


I miss you everyday,

wishing there could been a way,

to see you on this very day,

because I wish to have that smile placed,

upon my face, to wash the sorrows away.