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Eva Sep 2020
A fool’s worst fear is the one of people understanding him
How many people in the world despise themselves?
How many pretend not to?
A fool’s brain doesn’t work the same as others do
Very obviously a fool’s brain is too close to a fool’s heart
And if you think love is a battlefield, now you must wonder how a fool must feel
Banging, screaming on doors and beds
Self loathing is apparently free in his head
Small oddities in this world, like you and me
Our fears have no name, like you and me
Voice cracks, tears fall, nose sniffles yet our mouths stay closed
Why’s that broken one?
Isaac Spencer Sep 2020
Oh, it's been such a tough day, I'd-
******* **** for a cigarette,
Pathetic, upset, frayed and failing,
Falling apart with blood to let,

I'd like to get some rest now,
Without whiskey on my breath,
I'm more of a ***** scumbag,
And I'm begging to be left,

Again I lay awake,
Oh, redemption, I pray,
Or one more drunken hookup,
Whatever comes my way.
Emma Scott Aug 2020
You are the depths of dark and light

I fly... in your aspect, I shine.

Turning in your immortal glow

Above the horizon, I am divine.

The light extends to all I see

The dead risen with my breath

Unruled in passion, protector of all

Unassailable even in death.

I gaze upon your reflected face

As the illumination dies within

My flesh is torn, corrupt and base

My flight crippled in my sin.

Ripped asunder in your glare

A pool of black and viscous night

A road from whence there is no return

I wither in your slight.
Jack Torrance Aug 2020
I stood in the rubble,
and felt the heat from the flames.
Searching for taillights,
but the glow never came.

Our life slowly burned,
that we built as a team,
and a nightmare slowly grew,
where there’d once been a dream.

I didn’t know what to do,
once I knew you were through.
So I just watched the carnage,
and lost my mind too.

I didn’t understand,
but I think now I do.
You was the broken vase,
and I was only the glue.

I thought without me,
you would just fall apart.
I never considered,
you lied from the start.

I never fixed you,
like I thought all along.
Your sheer will held the pieces,
and that illusion was strong.

You went through the motions,
but not out of hate.
I know that came later,
but maybe it was fate.

Now that my heads clear,
I can finally see.
I can see the spiral,
that was once you and me.

I believed we were fine,
because I simply had to.
I think deep down inside,
I always knew.

Now that I’m clean,
I can’t lie to myself.
I can put aside pride,
and look up at that shelf.

The shelf built of lies,
that kept me alive,
as I slowly killed myself,
and drowned on the inside.

I can see now,
that it’s flimsy and frail.
The joints are all rotten,
and the paint has grown pale.

All that’s left to do,
is to tear it all down.
I think one hit will do it,
and crash it to the ground.

I’ll do it tomorrow,
if tomorrow should come.
At least I know the truth,
and you know what you’ve done.
Jack Torrance Aug 2020
I’m wearing a smile,
but the smile’s a lie.
I’m holding back tears,
but my eyes remain dry.

They say the way to the soul,
is seen through the eyes,
but if that is the truth,
then you can see my soul’s died.

I’m emotionally weak,
but too stubborn to break.
I scream at myself,
for being so ******* fake.

No one would know,
how broken I am.
Lying is my art form,
and self hatred’s my jam.

How can you love yourself,
when you hate who you are?
Hiding behind falseness,
like skin behind scars.

Maybe one day,
this disguise will explode.
Then you’ll see the real me,
and my world will implode.

Till then it’s my secret,
between me and myself.
So just look at my smile,
and ignore everything else.
C F Tinney Aug 2020
When the sun rests
and the moon takes flight
and the dawn of day fades
to dark of night
you will find me

though I strain against the hold
and tell myself that I am not alone
and convince myself that I will be fine
I will hear your haunting tone
you always find me

even before I lay to rest
and fool only myself in blunder
and pretend my bravado will hold you at bay
you lurk, waiting to tear my pride asunder
you find me, waiting not to wait

once I shut an eye
and the day rewinds like an ugly play
and the mind’s critics line up to give review
with me, already knowing what they’ll say
you are there

with the greatest voice of all my mind
and the loudest, so fur sure
and you drown out any hope I'd have
that you’d enter here no more
because you never really leave
M Grant Teague Jul 2020
Awake against the air.
Living in languishing lies of life

Existing outside their realms
These beached whales crave the waves

Watching from sleep stolen tears
These floating faces move without me

Without a wink, time slips by
Dazed in a dream of doubt

Where does the reality begin
And tragic nightrealms end

Deepest desires for lost love
Burn against the raging rain
How many times will I wash my face to feel satisfied with the work Ive put in?
How many mirrors will I have to look in until I’m comfortable in my own skin?
Will the weight of the world be lifted off if I start at the gym?
Are all the troubles I face, a reflection of the **** that I am?
Or no, are they just here? a constant reminder that if I interfere, I’ll just be more tired, more full of what I will fear, if I lose control of stopping....
Cyril May 2020
Self-loathing finally came to an end,
the stranger in the mirror is now my friend
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