i saw a stranger sing one night.
the memory still lingers
years after the high.
mute swimmer,
a wordsmith from berlin,
brought silence and fire.

he wrote a song
about self-worth and doubt —
the kind we all wrestle,
then bury in our minds.

he’d hear his voice
softly pulsing
with each heartbeat.
instead of leaning
into the dread —
you’ll never make it
you’re worthless —
he’d counter-attack,
asking us
to push them back.

why don’t you
shut
the ****
up.

we’d chant until
it wasn’t about him,
but about us.

why don’t you
shut
the ****
up.

why don’t you
shut
the ****
up.

why don’t you
shut
the ****
up.

They asked me what I want for christmas,
I told them I wish for silence,
but that is an impossible desire,
that one cannot acquire.

They looked at me confused,
they couldn't comprehend,
silence is not something
a human can command.

You can silence people,
you can silence the entire world,
but voices in your head will stay,
you will forever be their prey.

little devil,
when will you leave me?

consume me,
fully.

eat me entirely.

*I don't want to suffer anymore.