The talking falters,

that's why I burn poplar wood --


that always crackles.

I look at her so

closely that I can always --


visualise her.

The wash turns and hums
It sounds content
No birds, quiet
as in a dream

You got up early, I know
how you unfold a shirt
pull it over and enjoy
the cool fabric

...I don't feel like
...getting dressed yet, wait
...at the kitchen counter

...until the tea is brewed
...then I fold your clothes
...very precisely and lay them
...in the closet. What shall I

...cook for you tonight
...and what shall I wear?
...First something warm
...to do the grocery shopping

I must be
d
e
l
u
s
i
o
n
a
l

How else can you explain the stubborn butterflies in my stomach?

They are maroon and baby blue, and look like seashells and melodic laughter

You make me feel
ok

I didn't know I was still capable of that

When everything is falling apart
You are the glue holding me together

I don't understand. I thought only God was perfect,
but you are nothing if not perfection

I adore you-
talking to you
and laughing with you
and putting my head on your shoulder
(you said you like it)
and any time I am around you,
just watching you
hearing you
basking in your beauty

You are as beautiful as the masterpieces you create
I wish you were mine
You will never be mine

You deserve the world
I wish I could give you the world
I wish you could look at me the way I
look
at
you

I wish we could be
more
than
friends

That when I want to kiss you so bad it hurts,
I don't have to stop myself
Squeeze my eyes shut
One, two, three
Open
Take a deep breath
and go back to being
f  r  i  e  n  d  s

I love being your friend
(I love you)
I want to be your friend forever
But I want to be the friend you kiss
the friend you curl up on the couch with,
entwined together
sharing a blanket and watching whatever you want
The friend you confide in, whisper in my ear all of your secrets and pain
The friend you let hold you close, and tell you how beautiful you are
and not in a platonic way

Because you are the cool breeze sending shivers up my spine
And you are the Caribbean sun bringing peace and warmth to my soul
You are the crash of the waves against the rapid beating of my heart
You are a multitude of maroon butterflies flurrying in my stomach
You are my siren song, luring me into the pain of loving you
You are my undoing
and it is an honor

Part of me hopes I move on
But another part of me, a desperate and passionate part of me, swears I never will.

And some tiny part of me still holds on to the
d
e
l
u
s
i
o
n
that you see me the same way

I always knew I was crazy,
but this is just
depressing

Because we're best friends
And you don't have a clue

How I wrap you in a tight hug and find it near impossible to let go
I breathe you in as tears ***** at my eyes
I whisper a goodbye and a "love you" in your ear
Because best friends are allowed to do that
Then, I watch you walk away
as I cry a little on the inside
ok, cry a lot on the inside

I hate school
but I still look forward to every exhausting day
because I get to be exhausted with you
Because you'll be there
and that makes it worth it

Do you even notice me as more than a friend to laugh with?
Do you think about me when you sit alone in your room at night?
Think about my singing, or the way I looked at you when I told you how perfect you are?
The way I tuck my hair behind my ears when I work
Or how I'm always so excited when you ask me for a mint
Or how I trust you more than anyone else?

Do you notice little things about me
like I do about you?

Like how adorable your laugh is, and how it hitches slightly depending on your mood
Your giggle of alarm and delight when I try to trip you and somehow end up tripping myself
The way you examine yourself in the mirror, searching for a nonexistent flaw
How you still ask me about the state of your lipliner, even after I accidentally let you walk around with a bit of it on your chin before you noticed
How you secretly love singing, but are too shy to do it in front of people
How absolutely hilarious you are when people care enough to listen
The way you squint when you draw, turning your head every which way to perfect every line, every detail
The way you flush with quiet pride when people compliment your work

I can't imagine life without you
But I imagine life with you
all
the
time

It hurts to keep this a secret
But you can never know
I refuse to ruin our friendship
It's all that's keeping me sane

It must not be doing a very good job though, because I'm still
d
e
l
u
s
i
o
n
a
l

When you ask, "Are you in love?" it's not the same
As asking if you love, a feeling known and deep.
You love your family, siblings, kin, and name
The bonds you share, the promises you keep.

But being "in love" is something set apart,
A current running, vibrant, wild, and free.
When nearness makes a race within your heart,
A movie scene of yearning, wild to be.

Their touch, a spark that travels through your core,
A craving, dreaming, longing, ever near.
They fill your thoughts and leave you wanting more,
Each sense, each moment, holding them so dear.

A blurring of the lines where you begin
And they conclude, a merging of two souls.
That intertwined connection deep within,
A love that makes you whole, and makes you bold.

When words feel trapped, a lump within your throat,
A thousand phrases dwindle to one sound.
"I love you" echoes, all you can denote,
A simple truth, profound and all around.

You search for ways to say it, deep and true,
In every language whispered on the breeze.
To let them feel the love that flows from you,
A boundless ocean, deeper than the seas.

This is being "in love," a precious flame,
That flickers softly, needing gentle care.
Don't let routine extinguish its bright name,
But fan the embers, always wanting there.

Desire them always, show them, never cease
To nurture passion, keep it burning bright.
Avoid the mundane, seek joy and inner peace,
And hold onto that love with all your might.

Falling asleep in your heart
is like déjà vu.
a place I’ve never been,
but it feels familiar at the same time.
I don’t mean to creep you out,
but I know every nook and cranny.
I didn’t mean to fall asleep,
but of all the places I could have,
I’m glad that I did here.

Your heartbeat,
the pulse that cracks
and settles like a house,
although not mine,
it feels like home,
like somewhere I belong.

I normally don’t fall asleep
in places I haven’t been.
It takes a while to get accustomed,
especially if it’s my first time there.
Although it’s déjà vu,
and it could be one of those things,
I’m already looking forward
to the next time
falling asleep somewhere in you,
somewhere warm,
somewhere I belong

Your eyes look, look
at me, they count
my freckles, gauge
my mood and drown
drown in me, in me

Your eyes cuddle, crumple
my hair, they kiss my lips
nestle against me and
long, long for me
you long for me

I'm only here a while
but I did see you
I didn't scorn your love
even though I have to go
and the world keeps turning

It will pick you up again
with this song, that I give you
my song about your eyes
I've seen them
don't wait for me

Am I going to

love you or do I think you --


are already mine?

Her glance has wounded

me deeply, it pierced my heart --


oh, arrow of love!