we blossomed once
in the desert
two green weeds
seeking rootless pleasure
now flower bedded
horticultured—yet wistfully I miss
the *****
of cactus lips

I want to be near you sometimes. As much as I love you
I wish that I could love you better, that he could love you better,
That you could love you better.
Its not about being bitter,
though I am, and it is
A taste of chicory coffee dark and thick as car oil,
Soiled.
And you can’t spit it out, the taste lingers around,
And just like coffee, I’m addicted, taking a new sip every morning,
Remembering his face, when he looked at you with a curled lip and recalling
Your face pretending not to know.
And I resented you both.
I took an oath,
Never to blindly bind myself brainless and loveless
Now I’m unwound,  
Trying desperately to learn how to knit
Because everything is in tatters.
-Tori

Men are dogs;
You can hardly call yourself a brother
With no respect for a father's daughter: me.

A man of God are you?
Plead to him for forgiveness, for your wandering eyes
And unfaithful hands.

It is men like you who lust for me,
As if I'm to fulfill a fantasy
Or be your one time secret

I will never be anyone's one time secret.

If your sons had been born daughters
Wouldn't you want them to do the same?

around which they stand
unshakeable, proud, masters of all
the reason that lies behind
every move, each carefree step,
brick upon brick, fired,
a memory, then layered to a common tune
in the background, gently humming
old man with his stick, holding hands,
love at its first, and last,
this was us, our dream and now,
just a whisper, rubble
to fumble through for crumbs
to comfort the cold and forgotten

Unblemished by joy, the child with her shawl,
no protection from this barren life,
bare, for all who still see
this weathered face, trust destroyed,
all warmth and womanly instinct
seeped out for a well worn page,
insatiable lust, long forgotten

"You know she haunts my mind all day and yet you still keep her here."

Yew and other conifer serried in a daffodil field
A lone traveler wearily strides on the hills
Karenina, the morose maiden by him
Holds a lamp in a library where his vision dims
Pensive thoughts converge
In a road where the paths diverge
His tenacious mind seeks
Where the heart grows meek
When a lady mourns
A man yearns for more

“A liar stands amongst my white walls. Oh, how many thick coated wolves I’ve welcomed into my own little solitary world, but never once would the wolf turn against its brethren. Black sheep you are so weak, so meek, your importance to me wavers. Saving yourself, shielding, but suffering. I’ve sniffed you out. Sever your tongue, shave your lies, and tear at the seams. Take off your disguise, I have seen you so many times. The raven vists me in the darkest of nights, leaving a feather of doubt in the morning light. A messenger whom hasn’t visited in nearly a year, yet here she is, invading my unconsciousness. The raven keeps me fed, liar. The raven shows me your true face, a face turned from me, a face not so fierce, not so fearless anymore”

“She whispers through the seams of my pillow with her rasping voice like rewinded records. The anxious beads on my forehead remind me of the dread soon to follow, prayers slip through my teeth like water. With a clenched fist I fight fire with fire. Silken wings lift me beyond this savored reality. Into the depths of my mind we go, sealing our fate. Here I finally see all of your pent up lies, look me in my eyes, tell me one more time. Can’t you tell me all of your secrets? I’ll tell you all of mine. I’ll tell you how I can see the flicker of doubt behind your closed eye, how I can hear the hesitation in your rapidly beating heart. I can feel every decision you make, so when your direction changes I’ll see them before you can direct them from my mind. I’ve captured them all within dreams of mine. Please, just do not lie, I always know, for my raven shows”

Break up with your girlfriend,
Shatter her heart in two.
Make her cry every night,
Make her hurt over you.

Leave her today,
Tonight, or the ‘morrow.
Abandon her and leave her laden in sorrow

Make her drown in her tears,
Make her shake with her cries,
Break her, break her,
Break her down with your lies.

Come back to me,
I can love you forever.
Come back to me,
And we’ll be together.

One kiss,
One kiss,
Is all I ask.

To honor the present and remember the past.

One kiss will do no harm,
Where’s the shame in that?
Kiss me once and maybe the memories will flood back.

Break up with your girlfriend,
Leave her for me.
Make her feel so worthless,
All while we feel so free.

You know you want to.
Don’t deny yourself this.
Break up with your girlfriend,
Break her with one kiss.

Make her never forget.
Make her never lose sight.
That love is sadistic,
And so are we, right?

Kiss away the tears he made.
Let me break the chains that bind you to the loneliness she has forced upon you.

Place my hand on your pulse so that I can feel that it is I who caused it to quicken.
Slide your hand between my thighs and feel the slick evidence of my need for you. Listen to me beg for you to end my suffering.

Tighten your grip on me as you push the length of the hardness that she rejected into the warm tight cavern that I have opened to you. Hear my cries of relief and pleasure as you fill the void that he created in my body and soul.

Pull me closer as my hips rock to the rhythm of our sin. Race with me to the cliff of our eternal damnation. Faster and faster, we are running from our conscience. Don’t slow down, or we will never make the end. Swallow my screams as the waves overtake us.

Hold my hand as we fly over the edge knowing that we saved each other again.