i feel like a part of my life is missing without you by my side. when my heart felt like it was made of iron and when my mind was a tangled ball of yarn i went to you, you were my ******* muse and my inspiration to keep myself going and when we ended nothing ever felt right again, nothing sits right in my heart, i feel like the pieces are trying to fit together but there's always one part missing and that part is you. i always thought we had the purest form of friendship, it was past the point of being best friends, we were just the same person. we never had secrets, there wasn't really anything we couldn't tell each other. i ******* miss you. maybe this is what being in love is. i used to think people were supposed to make you grow as a person, not complete you, especially the people you fall in love with, but ****, losing you made me rethink that entire theory. i don't feel complete anymore. the most important person in my life left and i feel like my batteries have run dry. you left and it feels like parts of me are gone, dissolved away in the fluidity of your departure. this is love. the people you fall in love with complete you. you can find different people to complete you, but no two will ever fill in the same missing pieces. you knew exactly where i was sad and you healed me. you filled in the blanks where i couldn't myself. it's been a year and i haven't stopped feeling incomplete.

the rain
against the window pane,
pouring down
falling to the ground;
droplets after droplets connecting,
until it slides down.
a mug of hot chocolate,
on the cold table contrasting,
waiting to be drank.
i watch as my favorite kind of days unleash before me,
raindrops falling on my face
bit by bit,
feeling that i should be complete
and yet,

Something's missing.

as the rainy days pass by,
       the same window pane,
       the same mug,
       the same incomplete feeling,

Something's missing.

You.
I am missing you.
I miss you.

—a.c

I spent many nights awake
to solve the mystery
of my incomplete recurring dream

After swimming through ocean
fleeing from stalking sharks
I reached the deserted desert island

There was endless sand ahead of me
And the burning sun above me
and I walked away from salty water

Few hours later , walking few more miles
I reached somewhere ,in front of a huge gate
and huge stone wall around

I was desperately in need of food and water
The gate was closed , so I knocked
And saw them creaking open, and I waited

And as it open wide , my eyes too opened wide
and my heart beats fast and fists holding tight , the bedsheets
And this dream followed many nights .

I do not remember what I saw
But I really want to end this dream
So I can go back to dreaming unicorns and rainbow

I again in me am lost,
Restrained by the sound of my voice in the wind.
There is no tamed charm or lucid movement,
That brings forth a natural act within the play.
The game is always on and the challenge is difficult at best,
What do we succeed for when we become everyone else?
When individual specialness becomes a back boated myth to nowhere,
Is it irony or sarcasm to ones idioms that makes the difference?
A play everyone plays,
A test at one point everyone fails.
We are all not complex,
But neither are we all simple either.
So the question remains,
What are we?
Frivolous travelers looking for a place to lay our head,
Or someone special to enjoy the rest of our lives with.
The question feels unanswered,
And lost feels so much clearer than being found.

a loss of meaning in a cascade of words
ruin a moment,
destroy something so beautiful