i am so hungry
i do not like this world
i have fed it so much
yet i starve now
i worry
what haven't i done
there are merely a few roads i haven't taken
all of them leads to the same end too
do i still change my narratives
i guess i should
atleast i am not starved of narratives
i should eat one of those narratives
make do,
wear myself down
but say it is might, it is tenacity
make do, the familiar road
hungry but i have to take it

I am back, I am here
I would like to tell my part
I am selfish
I am stupid
I am smart only sometimes
I watch kids
I watch adults
I don't have very much time
I am full
I am bursting at the seams
So full am I
its very painful.
So here is the first piece
This is my bloodletting

And for a moment
I want to rest
Throw up everything in my mind-
Joy, pain, worries of tomorrow, stories
of yesterday...
And... for a moment
Feel absolute nothing!

Life is hard indeed!
And maybe I'm just tired;
A feather too, might now seem
heavy

And hence let me
rest for a moment,

Ma, will you make my bed please.


                                       _ vargov_

Every morning I wake in that dream
When the stars take over,
I bleed thoughts into darkness
And die a slow death
Then I live for a few hours
I laugh, I cry, I scream, and fly
...then I stumble back to the same dream