Is it the frame that holds, the muscle tight,
The heart that battles through the endless fight?
The crown of fame, the riches seized,
Or seer-sight burning where all lies are teased?

Is it the voice of gods, the soul in art,
The quiet choice, the courage to start?
The face of dawn, eyes wide with sky,
Or sunborn fire that could make worlds die?

What makes a man? The pact with shade,
The secrets buried, the occult conveyed.
The masks he wears, the games he plays,
Or thorns and roses where his spirit sways?

She filled my silent cup with
bubbling crackling pops of laughter
Wine I couldn’t put down
drank to the lees
felt it seep into my blood
spun my world
knocked the lights out

One sip led to a pint
then I tapped the keg

When the barrel ran dry
I thought we’d brew more
but she took my glass
and tossed it
Crystal daggers
glint on the floor

The constellation on the concrete
reminded me of a night under the stars
when you said we’d name our dog Sam
and our kid would laugh like me

I should have drunk more slowly

When she left I lay supine
at the bottom
The vision of our child floats
face-down in the barrel
I drain into the wine
the blood mixes
I’ll fill the barrel by myself with me.

I’ve been stranded in a desert,
Two years behind the bars of sand.
Never tried to break free,
Just watched the sun sink with me.

Then one day— like any other,
Through my wreckage, I caught his gaze.
Shivering— I’m cold he says,
Burn me up with the fire you ignite.

Passed beyond my clouds,
Every scar of mine must be his guide.
So I’ll drop my broken heart—
Become the spark of your night

I stand on a bend of time.
As I stand still,

My

Hand

Reaches

Out

And the divine moment widens,
Around my fingers,
Into the Infinite possibilities.

Infinity is a rainbow, and,
It is hidden,
Within every moment.

To make the moment,
A rainbow
Must stand still.

Be still and watch.
Receive all that is moving.
For what moves you moves in you too.

The moment and you,
Infinity and the rainbow,
There's nothing that can divide you.

I couldn't manage to find anything
that rhymes with you.

Make the moment, make you.
But don't let the moment make you.

For what the rainbow gives
It takes from you.

Time is money:
But, money does not buy a rainbow.
Or the motion of the seeds that you grew.

Are you growing it?
Or is it growing you?

Reach

Your

Hand

Out

And move the ocean of time
With your fingers

Feel the magnitude.
You are effortless.

As the Infinite moves you
You move the Infinite.

-------------------------

If Truth & Love are an object; I’m objective to that statement;
For the girl of my dreams — I’m maybe lucid dreaming,
Or just another hopeless insomniac; a hopeless romantic!

Dreamt up love stories – mostly are their unhappy endings;
Falling in love, while quietly hoping my feelings aren’t,
The only ones to catch me; it’s all going to be so tragic!

Falling too hard now — having no means to get up;
Having no pieces of a heart left, to cope with the feeling,
Of breaking up; knowing I’ll start to act so dramatic!

These are the insecurities of being in love;
It's so rough; the one I once loved became so traumatic!

Here I stand before you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
heart shattered, ego bruised                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­          
  The accuser and the accused,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
all judgement coming from
you                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sorry I'm not able to be                                                               ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
the person you're
remembering                                                      ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
What I think I often speak,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
it doesn't make me fragile or
weak                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
As you stand here beside me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you still act high &
mighty                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
  Like you have the authority,                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
to question me so harshly                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­      
 If you get cut you still
  bleed,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
   you are no different than me

Mind, stop trying to solve this old problem in endless cycles,
This door is closed, don't you see?
All these doors are closed,
But you still hope that by knocking hard or long enough,
One of them might open.

This dark and empty corridor has been where you
Spend your time day in and out, but why?
Aren't you tired of all the disappointment and frustration?
This self-abandonment keeps you looking for answers,
YOU WISH TO BE FOUND! I KNOW!

Desperately and to be honest, stubbornly, you keep your nose pointed into this one direction.
As though this corridor never had an entrance and all the ways out were through these doors,
BUT THEY DON'T WANT US!

Mind, this exhaustion brought us nowhere,
Wallowing in suffering consciously and subconsciously,
LET IT GO!

The problem is the truth you keep believing,
Your TRUTH keeps us trapped in here,
But I am tired.
Summer is coming,
This search has not helped us all these years.
Please, PLEASE, STOP!

Mind, this feeling of dullness
And this stinging emptiness,
This is not how I want to spend my life.
I am 30, let me live and experience all that is out there for me.
I WANT TO EXPLORE!

New ways of thinking.
You don't seem to notice but there is
One door missing at the main entrance
Of this long corridor,
Where we have been lost for ages!
Remember, mind, we have once come so close,
There was light, new perspectives arised,
There was happiness, gratitude, freedom!
There still is!
We need the courage to believe in it again,
LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND!

Mind, you are constantly searching for what you FEAR,
And what you fear you always find!
Then you implode, make my body go through painful waves of emotions,
Distortions, this is a self-harming behavior,
Don't you know?

Dear mind, all these thoughts you keep sending me,
Make me be ashamed of my body,
You have created a self-image for us,
Which makes enjoying life so difficult!
BUT I WON'T GIVE UP!

Mind, your creativity is astounding,
Honestly,
So is your ability to analyse and identify,
How within seconds you compare my body to others',
Point out its weaknesses,
Make it the reason to not feel enough,
Find prove for not being love worthy...
DON'T YOU SEE, MIND!

You keep your loved ones at bay,
Constant chatter of overthinking is your veil,
Looking for a sign that everyone else
Judges us in the same way that you do,
We never move beyond these walls,
Never NOT believing into the terrible curse,
This story, Mind, you keep repeating to yourself.

Now I realize that indeed we have been trapped,
We have buried and abandoned ourselves for good.
You, Mind, because you believe in this madness.
And me - who is this anyway? I am still longing
For this freedom. I have not given up.
And I WON'T!

I have made myself your slave.
Why? Because I used to rely upon you
Day and night. You have saved my life.
By building our own protective bunker,
You helped us survive!
Though THOSE DANGERS ARE OVER!

Can you hear me?
The purpose of this bunker is gone.
I am 30 now and I wanna live.
Yes, I want to let my loved ones touch my heart.
Yes, I want to experience hurt if I have to.
Yes, I want to believe in the GOOD
And not in what I've been told in childhood.

Mind, herewith I am cancelling my agreement with you,
I cannot trust your solutions without questioning them,
Lately, I realized that I have been denying my heart,
By keeping company with you for too long.
If you still want to stay in this bunker,
Knocking on sealed old doors,
Where really no one and nothing is waiting for us -
Then do it. I won't fight against it.
But I'll stop believing your stories and arguing with you.

It may take time to unbury myself and get back to light,
But I promise, I will look at myself as a young sprout,
Because I owe it to myself.

Dear mind, consider my invitation to leave the bunker
And your old beliefs behind,
To restart as a beginner's mind.
I know my heart will receive us with love and compassion
In its beautiful and peaceful chambers of light.

I am giving what I get,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I am keeping all my best,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                     
See if you can pass the test                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
when you're left with all the rest,                                                            ­                                            

                                                                 ­                                                      
  I am treating you like ****                                                         
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
  then delivering another
hit                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
See how you deal with it                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
when the tides start to shift                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
Feel me start to pull away,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                              
ignore you more everyday                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
don't care what you have to say                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                          
Convince you everything's okay                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
Act like I can't understand,                                                      ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
pull that, here we go
again                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                              
Stomp my feet, make demands                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                      
Embarrass you because I
can                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
  Put you down so
publicly,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­ 
  Control you so
  insultingly                                                   ­                             
                                                                ­                                                
Hear I love you & don't repeat,                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                 
  it's time you felt more like me

Is it that you aren't up to the task                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
  or maybe you are too afraid to ask,                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­     
    when you see that I'm falling apart                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
that I detect apathy in your heart?                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
Was our love real or was I wrong                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
have you always been stringing me
along?                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
I thought you were always going to
be                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                   
someone who would be there for
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
I've been truthful & true to
you,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
had your back when you felt
abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
 ­ A shoulder to cry on when in need,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
I've patched you up
repeatedly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
but every time I have fallen down,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
  you let me lay there on the
   ground                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                     
 It was easier for you to walk
away,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
than to be support for me &
stay                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I think deep down I 've always
known                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                     
  that your true colors have
shown                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
I was too in love with love to
see                                                              ­                                            
 that you never stood beside me