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Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2021
I'm not sure what to say to you
Seemed to have lost my voice
So I guess writing it down on paper
Is my only other choice

Only a tiny part of me is sad
You decided to go a different way
Not ready for something serious
At least I'm not today

I may be drenched in melancholy
But the fault lies not in you
Depressed long before we met
Your presence made me feel less blue

I couldn't describe accurately
The plethora of emotions inside
The strongest of these is envy
Of the one who gets to be by your side

Right behind is indignation
In a close second place
At the way you handled it
Without any tact or grace

I'm just waiting for you to talk to me
I suppose you don't possess the nerve
But how can you look at me and believe
This treatment is what I deserve?

I wasn't set on a relationship
It was you who started this
And it was your actions that convinced me
I was more than just lips to kiss

You told me you liked me
I warned you wouldn't for long
Your doubt warmed my center
But it has now been proven wrong

I recall you saying that you didn't want
What you had with her before
But maybe she has really changed
And it won't be hard anymore

I wish you both all the happiness
And luck this cold world can hold
Sincerely hope she is the one
To stand by you as you grow old

I don't know when my turn will come
Or if my heart is capable of love at all
But what is meant to be will be
It's just not our time to fall

I do not know if you see it how I do
Maybe I am the one to blame
For making myself too available
Smothering the flame

But you appeared to be an adult
I assumed you were somewhat mature
Different from my troublesome ex
Who just made me insecure

Only to find out you're no better
Lying like all the rest
Omission is still a form of deception
I must say I'm unimpressed

I thought we were closer than that
That you would give me honesty
What have I done to make you scared
Of telling the truth to me

A simple explanation was all it would take
For why I was being neglected
Instead dwelled on my every flaw
Wondering which was rejected

To discover it's not me at all
But someone else that caused this change
Actually comes as a relief
Although that might sound strange

I understand that love never dies
Because I'm going through the same thing too
The only difference is that the person I miss
Replaced me with someone new

Which I am surprisingly grateful for
Because we are better off apart
No matter how much it kills my soul
Or paralyzes my heart

If he wasn't taken I truthfully don't know
If I would be able to resist
Although I know he is no good for me
Tempting urges persist

So I wish you would have been forthcoming
And shown me a level of respect
I can't tell if it is my feelings
Or your ego you're trying to protect

You behaved like a gentleman
Until you didn't want me around
And instead of letting me down properly
You didn't bother to make a sound

But I guess you don't owe me a reason
No commitment hanging between
It is just that personally I have a problem with
People who say what they don't mean

I process conversation in a literal way
When speaking aloud I follow through
So naturally my brain presumes everyone else
Is inclined to mean what they say too

I forget sometimes how cheap talk is
And guys want to come off as smooth and sweet
So they fill our ears with ******* without even missing a beat

You told me you would be right back
Left me waiting up all night
But that wasn't that big of a deal
Didn't want to seem uptight

Then you took off on a road trip
Without saying farewell
That's when I suspected something was up
It was fairly easy to tell

Then when I found out you drove past my house
Spent time right down the road
And didn't bother to stop for a second
That's when I wanted to explode

You blew me off two days in a row
Yet give your attention to a *******
Do you get how low that made me feel?
Like you just used me to hit and quit (it)

And then when you finally show your face
You barely speak two words to me
I didn't know what pushed you away
Just wished I was able to see

It wasn't until later that night
I saw her Facebook story posts
And it dawned on me that I
Wasn't actually what you wanted the most

Don't know why you couldn't just say so
Would have saved me a lot of frustration
The only thing I deduce is that you
Weren't man enough to handle confrontation

Communication is key that is true
To understanding and resolution
Yet your cowardice tricked you into the false belief
Avoidance the appropriate solution

Running away from friction
Because you lack the bravery
Has really shown your true colors
And I don't like the hues I see

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up
When we had hardly just begun
But I sensed a genuine attraction
And with you always had fun

But history outweighs sparks
Shouldn't come as a surprise
But if you regret it don't come crawling back
Because I refuse to be your consolation prize
So sick of jerks
Anais Vionet Aug 2021
Kim: “So, your plan was to win him with awkwardness?”
Me: “No, my plan is to be as sarcastic as humanly possible and see if he can handle it.”
Kim: “You are SO good at the interpersonal stuff”
Me:  “ I so hope college guys get me - I’m out of sync with these high school durks.“
That first impression is key
Anais Vionet Jun 2021
I’m in the library, at school, trying to write an article for the school paper (and I'm not even ON the school paper). I’m on a forty-five minute deadline to complete a story someone else did poorly - on the edge of my vision I see someone step up to my table - a boy, I can tell, without looking up, from his school uniform. I’m hoping whoever it is will go away.. 44 minutes.
“Uhh-umm,” I hear.
My eyes flicker up and I ID “Everett Priestly” - one of God’s less ambitious efforts.
After a moment.
“Uhh-umm,” he does again.
“Parsley,” I say, without looking up.
“Priestly,” he answers with a sigh, "wanna play HOUSE?" he says conspiratorially, with a smirk.
"We were 7," I say, liberally applying syrupy boredom.

I’ve kind of known Everett Priestly forever - he lives two doors away from us - then my family became ex-patriots until three years ago. His family is rich, he’s handsome and I believe someone once told him he was charming. He fancies himself a lady killer but I’m willing to bet that he kills them with a combination of daddy’s money and poor driving.

“I’m awfully busy - on deadline Mr. Priestly - please send me a text,” I say, again, without looking up.
“I don’t have your number,” he says, patiently. “Would you like to go to Sandra’s party with a group of us Friday night?”
“OOOO! Let’s keep it that way,” I smile - this is too easy - 42 minutes.
“It’ll be FUN,” he says, with a smile in his voice - Oh, God, he’s trying charm.
“Everett,” I stop writing, look up and lean back. “You ask me out every two months. If you’ve made a bet with someone - like we’re living a teen movie - I’ll payoff the bet for ya if you just give it a rest, OK?”
He really IS good looking - but kissing him would be the apoco-LIPS.
“Why do you always say no??,” he asks, with a helpless 1/6th shrug and his GIGAWATT smile.
41 minutes.
“See you in January,” I say, as I slide my laptop closer in, give it my obvious, full attention and hopefully, start back to writing.
“Come to Thanksgiving!,” he says, as inspiration strikes.
“January would be MLK day,” I remind him. “Everett, PLEASE - deadline,” I plead (not looking up).
Everett, makes a snarky sound, turns around and slowly moves away - like a man headed for jail - he really SHOULD try out for the drama department, I decide. 40 minutes.

When Everett turned 16, his daddy gave him some kind of expensive foreign sports car - a really, really, really expensive sports car. Six hours later Everett guns this formula-one race-car out of a gas station, loses control, and totals it. The girl with him had to get stitches over her right eye.

His friends call him “EV” - they say it with a kind of a southern accent - that I can’t decide is fake or not, which gives it a hint of - “Elvis” - had a replacement car within 48 hours. He wrecked THAT one in less than six weeks - and his date got a concussion in the roll-over.

If he wants me to get in a car with him, he’s gonna to have to taser me.
some people exist in their worlds of their own - it's best if we don't join them.
Chad Young Feb 2021
Movement and shout has been given to the world.
Who wants to spend time in stillness and silence?
Me who listens to the reverberation of these frequencies, and observes their form and colors.
Silence listens most to the unheard.
In it my consciousness forms a likeness of myself.
Mine is like that white guy with a buzz cut, who sees truth for himself, and has a wider than thin musculature (medium).
How similar are "we" really to put every white guy with a buzz cut with a medium build who rejects the conformal truth prevalent in this country and time?
Why should they be the sidhas that my mind shows me?
What is their power?
Their eyes show the imperfection of a tattoo.
That inkish black stare.
Those creases on the forehead.
That perplexed point on the brow.
That hair so short as to wonder its color, introducimg itself in the eye brows, the white skull cap, and even the short spotty beard.
The shadows between lights portrays more gray than black and white.
The gray of prison bars, the gray of streets, the gray of rain clouds.
With all the fancy of a toilet bowl.
With all the luxury of a walk.
More a "Beastie Boy" than an "Eminem".
More a Jew than a Christian.
More a Baha'i than a Muslim.
More a Buddhist than a Hindu.
When will shade and utility become beauty?
Mirror, mirror...
i like guys...
but i also like girls
why?
i dont know
how could i not

the soft curves and delicate touch
my favorite lipstick, just can't get enough
the sweet perfume
and her lighting up the room
the long legs and mischievous smile
feeling things that took a while
to fully process and realize
that i cannot continue living lies

now don't get me wrong
i still like men
but i can't resist  
my cravings for them
still figuring things out
Anais Vionet Dec 2020
She knew she wasn't the
first shy girl conned beneath
a scintillant moon.

Why do boys lie so
- inveigling fabrications
- hoping to impress?

Why interlace fibs,
when, from first sight, she had longed
for his carnal lips?

Now doubts danced - as if
evil spirits were called and
asked to watch, and gloat.

"I can't talk to you
again," she said, "after all
- you’re a stranger."

She doubted he cared
- she doubted everything, like
she had a soiled heart.
What's worse than finding out you've been lied to - tricked?
Mr Poet May 2020
It all started with just the three of us
Then you introduced your friends
Until they became my friends

We started hanging out on our old apartment
Until you guys made it a habit;
We party 'til morning came
Which I shared my small bed afterwards

We were like this for almost a year
Then changes happened;
Some of them go
And some stay

We were forced to part ways
Just as I left the apartment
Leaving all the memories behind

I'm glad that i met all of you
even for a short period of time
You guys are the best thing
that ever happened to me
Heavily inspired by The 1975.
Based on true happenings.
Jupiter May 2020
your words ring in my ear,
the sound of your voice lingering,
waiting to cut me open at my most vulnerable.

your words are like silk,
soft and smooth,
but a bold statement.

they surround me,
wrapping and weaving themselves into my skin,
and suffocating me.

I can still hear your voice,
the accent and the commanding tones,
even though you were the gentlest guy I knew.

my ears bleed,
the ringing of your voice,
its driving me mad.

i wish i could control myself.
i wish i didn't get attached.
i wish i had never met you.
:/
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