I am still patiently waiting
for the day to come
where I wake up
and smile

If going to the park
At three in the morning to get ******
And talk about what we do and don't know
Is a waste of time
I'll gladly waste away my life

If running barefoot
In the construction lot
Behind the local cemetery
Is no way to make friends
Well
I suppose I'll have to risk it

If loving while I can
Unashamed
With no makeup on
Won't get me anywhere
I guess I'll stay
Right where I am

If dropping out of college
And moving to New Jersey
Because my girlfriend is a wildfire
And I don't mind the burning
Is a stupid way to live my life
Well
I guess

It looks like I
Am set to waste my time
And hang around
With the exactly wrong crowd
And dance in the rain
In the same old parking lot

Perhaps in your eyes
I am a waste of life
Another burned out youth
Old by seventeen and
Tattered in a trailer park

Build your life
Make your connections
Keep waiting for life
To come to you
And when you die
In your socially acceptable town

Me and my friends
Will be long dead
Rotting away
In the very same place
When the gods die
And the world rusts
We will not be remembered as the ones who changed the world
We won't be remembered at all
We will simply be the ones
Who danced while they could
Who ran out in the weather
When everyone else stayed inside
We will be the ones who loved the most
And fell the farthest
We will have learned all there is to know
All the lessons of a cruel world
We will die unspectacularly
We will have raging two person parties
We will die with heads full of memories
From dreams we chased like wrathes
We will be the ones who did not sit and wait
And in the end
We will always be the fortunate ones

If diaries could bleed
This would get ugly
I know I need help
But I'd rather be alone
I can go to therapy
And tell all my sob
Stories and tragedies
It wouldn't matter
In the end because
I'm still dead
Abandoned in a coffin
In the back of my head
My best friends
Brought me roses
Instead of tiger lilies
Because they don't
Really know me
I'll be buried in white
When I finally
Rest my mind
Because no one likes
My gothic side
I hope they'll play
My favourite songs
The ones I left on loop
But they won't
No one knows
What it is I do
And with all this
Spare time I'd say
That's probably okay
Aside from watching Ru
I sit in my room
Thinking about things
Life and death
And all that stuff
Pondering the galaxies
Instead of facing
My own reality
Because the truth is
I can only be
So different
So those demons
That you thought left
They're all still here
And they're all my friends
Better than the ones
Who currently hold
That ugly claim
Someone's got to leave
It won't be them
And it won't be me
I guess we both
Know what that means

Dreaming of you I never want to wake up
Your touch feels real
Tricking me into thinking you’re there
Playing my mind into missing you once again
I’ve been doing fine
Now I can feel your kiss
The same one you gave me 3 years ago
How can I still feel it?
I’m still waiting
Like every other day
I’ll write for you
As I’m waiting on the moon

The water crashes down
I watch it fade away, this year, these friends,
What will happen to us?
The murky depths are swirling and pushing,
I wish i was with you.
I relive the waterfall, my eyes burning, my lungs cold,
It's like it happened yesterday, and I still can't find the surface
I wish it could all stay, I don't want you to go...

do not leave me with what could have been
with all of your
almost-maybe-somedays.

do not tell me that you’re sorry
and that you love me
and that you wish it didn’t have to be like this.

do not make me live in a world without you
do not make me have to drink coffee on my own.

put those pills down and pick up the phone.