Kak mnogo slyoz ja ukral u tebja?

I dragged my flesh and perched on the terrace of gloom
Who welcomed me with sunken talons into my chest
and snatched my soul with great fury-
Upon me fell a torrent of tears from those whose tears I’d stolen,
Whose hearts I’d cleft in twain.
Who ruffled their sheets in discomfort beneath the waning moon

shower me in ***** and bury me in excrements
Throw me into the mouth of the roaring fire and feed to me my flaying skin
satiate my thirst with pus oozing from my flesh.
Perish me! Let the lord of the heavens spit upon my soul
And the caricatures in the depths of hell trample over me.
Let the devil embrace me and his legion of demons fornicate with my accursed soul-
For I had not been....Alas, I had never been whole .

The winter blues are rich with gloom,
twisting my heart with apathy.

And perhaps shame too, let it not hide behind the weather.

Is it this dark obsession or some hidden transgression?

All the lessons learned, but failure is all that remains.

What road is left, I cannot see between the flickers of my dwindling flame.

Every year ends in darkness and starts in darkness.
Why does that seem like a revelation?

Gloomy, cloudy misty day,
Air suffused with silence fey,
Look is fixéd on the feet
Lest with dreamy eyes to meet
The glance of Darkness in a way
Of your windy path may stray
You on the stranded darkened beach
And fill you with a fever itch
To indicate the ghastly presence
Of extraterrestrial essence
Bonded with a world beyond
To which with tighten clasp he holds
To that of his; and not intends
To intervene with our mess

Maybe the sun will come out today
Maybe I’ll feel the warmth on my skin
Maybe my eyes won’t gloss over with tears from the light
Maybe I can go for a walk and just be happy
Maybe there is some hope left