I am aware that I'm toxic
It was never fair to believe that in life you just give and receive
Spending half a life as the novelty welcome mat on a rural truck stop.
Nobody ever stayed around, they were all on some journey.
A foot gets put down and occasionally people frown
as in you were never supposed to do that
as in you should be comfortable because people still at least say hi
When the greeter gets greeted they feel more or less defeated
Because everything is done the same daily, it's repeated
Crane that neck around, and see the stomps impeding
On all that sense of worth, that basket full of reassurance that was spread like pixie dust
Take all those coming forward with their not so friendly faces
Get off of the floor and go forward, get ready for the races
Stay down or drown in a pool full of that stiffling reality that just cannot be avoided.
Go toxic.

When I talk with you
My heart clenches with the force of a thousand fists
as I see the words tumble out of your mouth
each one lined with a dozen tiny sharpened daggers
like they have teeth that snarl at me as much as you do.

When I talk with you
I feel the waves of relief crash over me and I'm suspended
in a vast peaceful blue with nothing but a distant song
that I can't understand, but I let the blue swallow me
and I let my mind wander with ignorant bliss

When I surface the water
somethings changed but I can't place it
whenever I walk near trees, I don't hear  
the birds song anymore
whenever I dive near waterfalls
the crash of water against rock doesn't seem to loud anymore
whenever I go to pick up shells by the sea shore
the ***** scuttle away into their sand holes
leaving me alone and confused with the waste of the world washed up on the beach.

whenever I wander into parks
mother's eye me and shield their children's eyes
whenever I go to clubs
tall toothpicks with faces and blonde hair look at me with contempt

and when I wander around with a heavy feeling like I'm carrying a lead backpack
I start to wonder if it's me that's driving everything away
Is it how I look? Did I do wrong?

And it's not until someone tells me that I realise
There's blood trickling down my back
and an 8 inch scimitar
lodged into my spine.

Your eyes are lightning—
piercing, penetrating—
stunning.
with a gaze,
You turn me,
a mere mortal,
into stone.
Your presence is—
electrifying.

Your hair is brazen,
Your skin is gold.
Your body sacred oak.
the grace of a swan,
the heart of a lion,
the eyes of an eagle,
the mind of God—
is all Yours.

the sun has half Your warmth,
the sky a quarter of Your greatness,
and the stars an eighth of Your brilliance.

a huff of Your breath
could blow all the birds from the sky.
a flick of Your finger
could crush all the earth's mountains.
a crack of Your voice—
like thunder—
could make all men fall to their knees.

the world gravitates on Your inhalation
and shies away on Your exhale.
all of nature sings of Your glory,
for around You,
everything revolves.

on my chariot
riding on a bridge of brass,
torches in the air—
in imitation of Your celestial glory—
i wonder
if there be a place for me
on mount olympus—
by Your side.