You lie and lie and lie over and over again.
Every lie, a post-it on your face, covering your body.

After so many lies
I can no longer recognize what is found behind.

They are your barricade,
but we all know that they are papercut.

And no matter how thick you make them out to be,
paper will never be wood again.

Sometimes nothing feels real
  Like I’m floating in some fever dream
     And unable to heal
          I gaze at the stars and think

                What if it’s all faux
                         What if it is all a dream?
                                      But it feels like I’ve stooped too low
                                                 To wait around and see

                                                                   Play around and
                                                                see

                                                                                Maybe it was never real
from the start

       Maybe the only thing fake was a part
                  Of
Me.

She smiles because she's your go-to child
The one that gets all the praise
The one who accepts all your rage
Even as she's growing
You won't ever know it
Because hormones are bad
And mood-swings won't ever be had
Even though she hates it
She smiles as she fakes it
Her facade or innocence
Is quite actually painfully brilliant
She has everyone around her finger
Though the tightness of it always stings her
She smiles as she's called sweet
Kind and lovely
Smart and hardworking
Honest and trustworthy
Strong and preserving
Beautiful and genuine
Because she's not she's
Mean and unlikeable
Dumb and lazy
A liar and unhonest
Ugly and fake
But somehow no one sees
Her broken and horrid self
Through her sickly sweet
Kind and innocent
Full of joy and love
Fake facade

you think you broke me into a thousand little pieces when you left. and to be truthfully honest you did, but how could I ever tell you that? you left without a second thought, not caring at all about how I felt, or what this would do to such a passionate feeling soul.
so I will never tell you.... that I have sworn to myself, like an oath. keeping secrets has gotten somewhat easier since you left, I don't have to lie to myself about how I thought you would stay, or that you truly loved me. I'd like to say it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but that would be a lie in itself.
somehow I feel empty, but a thousand pounds heavier since your departure.
It doesn't make sense, but nothing did with you.
so I guess I'll keep going, no other option. but I'll do it with a smile on my face (even if it's fake). always remembering that you have broken me but at least you will never know how much....

Broken, Flawed, Imperfect.
People live among us.

Perfect,flawless, immaculate.
People live half alive.

As they try anything and everything.
To sell you a dream.
To gleam and shine.

To light up the screens.
Of teens who see.
No harm in the dream.

That being anything less.
Than them is wrong.

You have to shine.
Like they do.
Sell fake news.

Start a trend.
Make an impression.

Just don't be flawed.
In the way you speak.

Don't look broken.
Hide those eye bags underneath.

Your hair can't be imperfect.
Not a strand out of place.

Smile,gleam and shine.
The way you were always.
Influenced to.

Not a foot out of place.
Otherwise we won't allow you.
In this space.

Now fake a smile.
Won't you?

why would you do that?
you know im a lesbian
you know I think 7th grade is too young for dating
so why would you tell my sisters I have a boyfriend?
because you know they'd buy it?
even though they know too
because you know they'd tell my parents?
because you know i'd get in trouble with my parents?
EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW TOO

God... why are we still friends?

Life’s like an old rose garden,
once blooming,
now withering.

Petals falling,
replaced by dry leaves,
wrapped in silence,
once so rare,
now so heavy.

I return home,
laughter ringing in ears.

But as the door shuts,
loneliness greets me,
like a cold, hazy mist,
or dark clouds that the stars resist.

Every day is a performance, a never ending act
I always must perform or people will attack
I've become nothing more than a fake
I've no idea how much more I can take
They've forced me to hide who I love, who I am-deep down inside
When all I've ever wanted is to embrace myself with pride
They force me to wear a mask
Every day, a constant task

“Be yourself, be independent” they say
Yet when I do, they always turn away
It shouldn't be like this, it isn't ******* fair
But who am I kidding, they don't ever care
The only time they care is when there's another suicide on TV
I worry I'll share that fate, just another statistic to be
I don't know where to go or what to do
So I'm crying for help, a message to you