A view of this world distorted by eyes now welled with tears.
More broken and alone than at anytime in all my younger years.

No sign of reason and nothing to sustain progress to a future way.
Just the futility that lays ahead as I face yet one more pointless day.

Scream out to the deafness, in pain so deep, of the peril that I am in.
Resolved to the reality there are no ears, and I have no way to win.

Long has been my fight since I fell to this most desperate place.
Knowing an escape by my own hand will not even leave a trace.

To end my continual pain and this life of lonely deep despair.
And with certainty just knowing, no one knows I was even there.

No one left to notice or care how far I fall.
Any path without this pain again a very welcomed call.

Another dark day I half-heartedly chase
I run and run but I’m stuck in place
I am starting to wonder if it’s all a waste
I am just a body taking up space
What is my purpose? What am am I doing here?
Would the world be bettered if I disappeared?
Time is racing but I do not care
I am squandering every single breath of air
I ask myself the same pressing question
“Why’s it so hard to change?” Again and again
I guess I am lacking the strength I need
To rise, and despite adversity, succeed
Countless times I have tried to switch my ways
I somehow always find myself back in the maze
Forever getting the best of me
Too late when I finally see
And at that point I am within it so deep
The harvest planted in haste I now have to reap
Although it is a bountiful crop
The yield is spoiled with posion and rot
Stalks grow taller, trapping me inside,
Sprouted from seeds of all I failed to hide
Foliage so thick I cannot see the sun
Blocking not only light, but everything and everyone,
Almost ready to give up and say I am done
Call it quits even though my life has barely begun
Yet on I continue, although reason there is none,
I doubt I’ll ever reach the exit, but still, I run...

I always exit the train before it crashes,
I am so frightened of becoming someone else’s collateral damage...
Then the sadness sets in, because I don’t know what happens once I leave.
Could I have waited a little longer?
Would I be the sun in a new story?
Would the rain stop?
Would the pain stop?
Would I stop being scared and planning ahead because of it?
Did I miss something beautiful?
... I’m sure I did.
Next time I should stay on the train and wait.
Maybe there won’t be sadness after the crash...
Maybe the rain will stop...

i have an exit plan.
hush
it's for emergencies only
I'll never use it
who knows?
but I'll keep it there
gently now-
a building shy of too short
a secret resting low in my pocket
a couple of pastilles bright
in the palm of my too-steady hand

the departure may be too sudden-
barely a breeze and a sigh before I leave-
but I rest assured that my mind's ensured
by the choice
the exit
my desired desire path

for if it's ever just too much
and tired becomes too weary to smile
i know I'll have the choice
to take a little time
and sit in front of my exit for a while

i don't think anybody sees it in my eyes
it's probably why all those others will cry
but I'll be safe and sound-
Yes, but it all comes 'round!
and im not that selfish of a guy

so I'll cradle my exit to my chest
ill grit my well worn teeth and do my best
ill struggle through
and ill trudge through the rest
and ill smile, smile, smile, and laugh
with hateful pleasantries and pleasant hate
a bright new day to exacerbate
the itch of joy and the soreness of pain
and once in a while
the heavy rain

and when my fingers slip
from the weight of it all
I'll keep smiling
I'll keep laughing
I know that there's an exit,

after all.

Destined to go away.
But an early exit  
is not welcome either.

It has to be on time.
But it can't be found
beforehand either  
in the solar or lunar calendar!
However it's definitely
on it is crystal clear.

trapped
in solitary confinement -

with the key to the exit
in your reach -

with nowhere to go
and no one to meet -

with nothing to do,
besides watching seconds,
evolve into minutes,
evolve into hours,
evolve into days.

would you leave?

- v.m

My weapon is voice today
'tis careless
a spell amoungst curs
it puts close friends in their places
and worried
(behind my back)
It kisses with mischeif
and muddies stray-fully

My weapon is played
a trial
a tool
to bring about my isolation
Then i may exit without notice
and unfollowed
a relief, in release

My real work shall begin abroad