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Bella Isaacs Feb 2023
So, what's your downfall, he asked?
And I tell him, I'm not tasked
With losing my hopes in a flask,
Or tangled sheets, or to bask
In false lights of powders foreign,
Though it would seem my creed, I know,
By much my brethren showed and show;
I am an artist, I plead guilty to the crime,
Of being here to ask you to waste your time
To try to understand my ramblings on my pain
And then to waste and waste your time again
Hoping you can see something more
Of everything that comes before
Your eyes when you're not wasting time
Upon this crazy pantomime
I place before you: I bleed, yes,
And hope to give you life in all this mess.
I told an acquaintance of mine "I'm doing well, enjoying writing my novel." And after approving he asked, "What's your downfall?". I think he thinks writers are like Hemingway. I'm mostly OK, I think.
Bella Isaacs Feb 2023
A quiet getaway for two, a co(a)st,
Yeah, but how about, we skip the other?
And, if you "love", why don't I let you roast
With the other marshmallows, and wither
In your blissful lack, blind lust, busy life
Of red velvet and dollars? In my chair,
All the "love" I need to know is the strife
Of strings and sticks and synth and sliding air;
Give me Skull Candy, and my own fiddle,
Give me my view across the painted sky,
Give me my freedom to be a riddle,
Give me the chance to dance and still defy.
I'm not your pretty girl, nor femme fatale,
And if you fall, know you will really fall.
Bella Isaacs Oct 2022
Why should I seek to redeem myself through
Redeeming you?
I'm arrogant enough to know that it's true
And believe me you, please
That teaching the plainly obvious
To the incorrigible ignoramus
Is a labour for Hercules.

And I deserve champagne for my effort
And a smack in the face by reality for desert
The more fool me
The poor fool me
For thinking that my contraption to make fish climb would actually
Work, and it's thankless, you know you should offer
The scribblings you make to the dead lover's altar
Do you think you could live this long
Beating your heart out, crucified and strung,
For the irredeemable,
And polyphemable,
People you thought weren't wrong?

But revenge is no answer, I'm too bold
To make cold
The lie once again that keeps being told
And believe me you, please
That fabled coldness or sweetness
And that cannot-be-beat-ness
Comes along with yet more guarantees.

And I'm a decorated casualty
For my all-too-late good memory that mortality
Is too for me
Not new for me
The cause-and-far-reaching-effect has no good reason to set me free
From the darkness, you know you should offer
The vows that you make on the dead duellist's altar
Did you think you could live this long
Beating your brains out, sanguified and hung,
For the irredeemable,
And polyphemable,
People you thought weren't wrong?

You have a greater capacity to no give no d*mns to this
You have a greater rapacity than to make dams for this
Injustice.

From where I sit, I know I should offer
My wisdom and fears into the dead ******'s coffer
Did you think you could live this long
Beating your soul out, petrified and wrung,
For the irredeemable,
And polyphemable,
People you thought weren't wrong?
A reflection and reasoning written in an emo style on unrequited regard, letting how other people treat you or think of you determine your self-worth, and why trying to prove yourself and revenge are not options.
Bella Isaacs Sep 2022
It is literally only the cold now that bothers me:
I can hug my knees, feel warmth of the bowl of curry
That I warmed up for me and my girls. You fall in love
And I fall behind, I fall back. Move on and move
In and marry, sweet and twenty as you are, sweet and loving
As you are, who don't listen to Infinity on High shoving
The irony into the backseat, gazing at the lyrics' memories
Like a postcard collection on a corkboard. Ryan Ross could have cursed at me,
And I could have cursed like Kellin Quinn, but these are dead times now
To beat down with a combat boot in moving, as I row
With my personal indifference to the candles and the wedding bouquets,
To the political matches passing me by, the parties of croquet
That I decline to program, combat boots ever on the road,
On the road to being Her, a still concept without a goad
Towards what the fairytales say I should be - I'm a pop punk song:
I take no prisoners: Your definition's wrong.
Ant Feb 2022
tears,
how many more can i spill?
tears,
maybe im better off drowning in them.
R N Tolliday Oct 2021
So, you’re only the victim of boredom
I’m sick of these days of frustration
Your face doesn't make things better

I’m trying to get something out of this routine

It’s the same old sun again
Being tired is your identity
You’re only pushing yourself to the edge

I’m trying to get something out of this routine

One day you see the light
The next day it’s gone
It’s up to you, in the end.
A song by bluebeard.

Bluebeard was a Japanese emotional rock band, active around the early 2000s. The band's music had a likeness to the emotional rock scene happening in the States: Sunny Day Real Estate, Mineral, Texas is the Reason, etc, and bluebeard carved out an identity for themselves in the indie music scene in Tokyo. (Emotional Rock, or emo rock, is the same genre as the more popular American Football.) In a rare interview, it became known that bluebeard intended for their music to be at the same level as the bands of their influence, and worked hard to do so, so they could be enjoyed by a wider audience, including the States.

Their genius showed: in 2015 the band had a year-long reunion, much like American Football and Mineral at that time, and ended for packed venue(s). Just like American Football, the band had only released one full length album.

Yoshikazu Takahashi is one of the brains behind the music of bluebeard, and he is the voice behind the lyrics. Snow, was written about the singer songwriter's loneliness he experienced at adolescence. At writing it, he was likely around the age of 20.

If you're talking about the great emotional rock bands that make up that era: listen to Bluebeard, who saw the scene as it was happening in the States, and emulated what they heard and saw with soul and unique vision. The truth behind their lyrics, the genius of their music's composition, the mentor influences from British punk bands who Yoshikazu idolised (and likely others), and Yoshikazu's own soulful, renegade voice: bluebeard bleeds that era of emotional rock.
GaryFairy Sep 2021
an obituary page
used aluminum foil
whiskey bottle
glimpse of a shadow
shadow of a man

forever stuck there
orange and yellow leaves
crumpled breath
muttering

aching heart
aching feet
wandering nowhere

tuesday songlist
GaryFairy Aug 2021
within my own vicinity
i search for simple serenity
tending to my own tendencies
mending without amenities

sick and twisted remedies
a bitter sweet identity
my slit-wristed entities
the enemies of my memories
Never touch alcohol now and feel better
Hunger Jul 2021
How can this ever possibly be,
That this would ever happen to me,
No not another day,
How could life even find another way,
To hurt my heart and melt my soul,
I guess I will just never be whole,
Another way to feel alone,
As I wither from skin to bone,
My body shake shivers then stops,
Yes I wither like freshly poisoned crops,
Nothing left to fear,
I guess this means the end is near,
I shed my last silent tear,
Before I tell you all goodbye.....
...
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