I sit under the moon
And the night takes hold of me
It steals me away
Until Dawn
It hands me back to the sun
And I will rise for daylight

But in between
Being taken by the night
And being given to the day
I will dream
I will see this earth's
Brightest and darkest moments
And I will see everything in between
I will see it in my dreams

And then I will rise
And I will live in the sunlight
Only to be taken by the night again
And see all the world's color
I see it in my dreams
Every night

Night lights
Casting light in the shadows
Minimizing the hiding places for monsters and negative thoughts
Providing a false sense of security
As though if I could see the danger coming, I could protect myself from it
Weather it was monsters or hearing that voice inside my head telling me I'm not quite good enough.
Did you protect yourself?
Did you learn how it felt before you dreamed a reality that left you of short of breath on the edge of falling into the abyss?
As though the monster had ****** up all the air in the room and was holding it captive just out of reach
Just far enough where you are not brave enough to walk
Did you ever wake up from the terror thankful for it to be over just to realize as the second passed that the monster still held you in his grips?
Hand pressed over your throat, stifling your screams dragging you back in, as your fingertips bleed from scraping at air, trying to pull away
Waking up, scarce of breath, trembling like the knees of a girl who is fragile and weak, begging for a rush of air
Did his face pressed against yours and his hands caressing your skin vanquish the monster and fill your lungs?
Did he make you feel safe?
As the nights drag on and the night light persists when will enough be enough
When will the darkness envelope me in comfort instead of anxiety
Will it always be a constant battle of needing sleep but not wanting to dream?
Childhood covered in night terrors and sweat.
My Fears took root in the darkness, thriving on my constant thoughts and well wishes.
Soaking up my confidence and using it as a weapon
I am not scared of sleep I am scared of what hides in my mind as I drift off.
What new version of hell could my mind construct
Night lights make waking up less of a mental battle.
Night lights help make me realize that the fear and danger is no match for reality
Night lights help pull me out of the abyss and bring me back to you.
But if I believed that light always conquered dark then wouldn't the dreams have stopped?

Sweet pleasures of life
Sun, air, food, water
dreamland,
and a poet's sweet kiss

I saw him coming from a distance
His eyes gleamed with the curiosity of  a wild beast
He licked his lips, my knees grew weak
I lost it all when he repeat
"I want want you" he whispered, his words cut sweet

I felt the murmur in my covers
As I beckoned to his call
Gentle hands chills up my spine
I feasted on tender lips, so divine
My lips move under sweet surrender

He grabbed to me, pinned Me Against the wall
Oh, to this moment, I desperately remember
My legs held him close, my arms pulled him near
Be gentle my love, my knight, my aggressor
For I am tender, light and raw.

Oh God! The estacy of this gracious, glorious sin
His passion explored from deep within
My sheets became saturated through the ****** of it all
As I an exhausted between these walls

So please my love,
my knight in moon lit armor
Tease me pleasantly, and be gentle
Forever in this darkest hour of midnight

So tonight, I'll be ready, in dream land you await
when I lay my head to sleep
I pray to God for a repeat
And I shall endure this pleasant torture
Night after night, always and forever
For he is my light, my love, my law


   *La Vida Love

I stroll nonchalantly down eerie roads to see where they take me
I walk awaiting to reveal the mystery
There's rumors of a list land forgotten by society
Just listen for them, there's a variety
Every day I wonder
Dream about it in my slumber
Will if ever find it?
I dream of a land
I dream to try and understand
But it seems impossible
So I walk continuously searching
Tracing back my dreams step by step trying to remember
Where it's hidden is clever but I'm close
I can feel it in my toes
Its pulling me closer
Everything fades away like tunnel vision as I step
Walking in pitch black with so since of direction
And there it is
The list dreamland of Ayoura
Exactly as imagined
Diamond paved roads and emerald homes
This place has anything and everything you can ask for
I've finally arived
I'm finally home

It's 12:29.
I'm thinking about the moon.
It's one of those "Sufjan Stevens" nights.
His music always manages to perfectly translate my befuddling feelings and thoughts into rhythm and beat.
If I rest now I will miss out on what the night has to offer.

It's 1:07
I'm lying in bed.
I hear my mom on the phone with grandma.
They always manage to keep the conversation fresh and perpetual despite the 8,096 mile distance.
If I let my eyes close now morning and work will arrive faster.

It's 2:03
I give up on homework.
I open the laptop to watch Netflix.
I re-watch a show I've seen a dozen times.
If I escape to dreamland, this sense of knowing of what is to come will be stolen by the uncertainty of the subconscious.

It's 4:32
I'm filled with sadness.
I have procrastinated badly.
I abruptly jump out of bed and head downstairs to brew coffee.
If I go to sleep, I will regret it in the morning when I will face the consequences of my laziness and late night reasoning.