To say that we’re both far from home
Might be a bit of a stretch,
Since simple roads and passable oceans fail
To describe the true distance between worlds
Ripped apart so that only faded myths
Whisper of how once they were one.

We are not quite
Sitting right across from each other
In libraries where books scream secrets
While we glance up with the silent truth of distrust.
We are far from where we should be,
Yet if either of us want to traverse past the stars
And into the worlds that exist in mathematician numbers
And in the dreams we have at night when the other is no longer watching,
We need to do more than simply wait for that moment
Where our eyes meet once in connection rather than separation.

This is not just a tangible cold
But a chill in the heart
To say goodbye and love from afar
For the very one you held so dear
Became the root cause of many a fear
One never knows you're in the eye of the storm
Until you escape and look back
From the other side of the mirror
Things have now become clear
Uproot and cast away
The naysayers who sowed pitfalls in your way
Yet bid such not a bitter farewell
For hiding underneath that glossy shell
Unveiled a serpent you thought you knew so well

Sean Achilleos
April 4th, 2020

Sometimes the one closest to you is your biggest enemy...

i don't understand why you won't look me
in the eye anymore.
who were you then?
who was i?
i don't understand the faces you wore.
were you always like this?
i don't understand why i trusted you so
much.
i still trust you
why did i ever cry?
i don't understand what you've become.

did you ever like me?
i don't understand why i can't forget about
how we were friends.
do you think about this too?
i don't understand why i still think about
you.

why do i care about you so much?
you won't change

and neither will i.

Feeling those micro abandonments like the setting sun upon my amygdala's shore,
No longer residing in my mind's old tenemants, I can see only strangers at my left-side door,
Wreathed in layer upon layer of distrust, I cannot open myself up anymore,
I couldn't bear to see your bold stars dimmed by the enveloping mist of what came before.

What kind of existence will find me tomorrow, if any existence at all?
I've been begging for another's burdens to borrow, mine can no longer make me fall,
I'm learning that in my old mirror and shame, I can sometimes see the face of Saul,
Blind in my wandering and bashful in blame, I am forever lost in the stories I cannot recall.

All I was taught is
Fear and suspicion

I locked my lips
And threw away the key
So why is it
That you still can't put your trust in me?