I'm not the same as I was before
But I know what I was like with you

I was happy, scared, sad
Confused, cheerful, mad

Now, I don’t feel anything

How's it like for you
To not think about me anymore?
Cause I think of you constantly.

How's it like for you
To not have me there anymore?
Cause I can't stand being away from you

How's it like for you
To not miss me at all?
Cause missing you is tearing me in two

Wake up to dream
turn off reality
destroy the tears
od life poverty

Am i awaking?
I dont want to fail
boring surviving
just die for a while

Is this my dream
or just reality-
the broken seam
of your morality

I perform
with aniexty
Using whatever
leftover energy
I have
To transform
a frown
into a smile
Am I  Okay?
No not really
Will I ever be Okay?
No not really

nothing will ever be as beautiful as you.

you may think that even the smallest things possess more beauty, like the way the trees sway when the wind's coming from the northwest or when your favorite song comes on the radio and the grin that appears on your face. but i promise you that there is nothing out there that will ever come close to you. i wish you thought the same about yourself as i did.

i refuse to keep blaming you for what happened between us.

you tried your best to keep me happy and you always made sure i fell asleep before you. sometimes i lied about that because you'd post things that scared me and i needed to make sure you were okay. i guess i wasn't the only one who lied.

baby, do you remember that night in december when you told me you wanted to **** yourself and i found you by the railroad tracks? do you remember seeing my body next to yours? do you remember when i wouldn't let you go home because i couldn't watch you? my best friend slept over that night also because she didn't want me to worry about you even though you were right next to me.

maybe we both tried too hard, maybe we lied a little too much and maybe we shouldn't have even tried in the first place. sometimes i wonder what my life would've been if i hadn't met you. we hurt each other. you sent me pictures of blood dripping down your arm and it hurt me to the point where i had to sleep in my mom's room to ensure that i wouldn't hurt myself. you caused an aching in my heart and body that i've never experienced before and if there's a god up there, i pray that nobody hurts me and causes me as much pain as you did. you wrecked me. but i demolished you and walked around like i did nothing. it's been 7 months since we ended and i refuse to blame you for everything.

i remember the night when i took a few pills and you took your dad's car all the way across town to take me to a hospital. sometimes i wish i didn't tell you and others i wish i didn't take the pills. i think after that i realized that you were one of the most addictive drugs out there and i was hooked from the second we met.

i hope you realize i don't hate you anymore. i hope you realize that i take responsibility for what i did. it wasn't all your fault. i'm sorry. i miss you.

Soy paranoia, soy demencia, soy alucinación.
Ando en medio de la oscuridad atormentada por mi mente.
Atormentada por esta triste depresión sin salida. Atormentada por el dolor.
No encuentro una luz, mi luz. No encuentro la paz, no encuentro mis píldoras.
No encuentro poesía. Necesito calmarme.
La noche anterior soñé que me intentaba quitar la vida. Sentí cómo mi respiración se ralentizaba, debo admitir que sentí alivio de acércame a la muerte. Anhelaba ese reposo sin embargo  el pánico empezó a hacer su papel y decidí detener el acto.
Soy un fantasma de carne y hueso, soy sombra, soy noche. Noche sin luna y sin estrellas.
Desperté. Sentí el vacío, pero quiero estar llena de felicidad. Temo naufragar, no quiero dar vueltas, me convierto en sombra, mis pensamientos se vuelven cada vez más grandes, más delirantes.

Because you kicked and you screamed,
And you cried and you pleaded,
To meet the Reaper.

Yes you cut and you stabbed,
Swallowed pills until you gagged,
Just to try to meet the Reaper.

You even hung from a rope,
But then it broke, what a joke,
You just want to meet the Reaper.

Closed your eyes, fell three floors,
Broke your feet and nothing more,
You're dying to meet the Reaper.

You shot yourself in the head,
Yet you're still not ******* dead!
Why can't you meet the Reaper.

How you long for an end,
Suicide, your favourite trend,
Life decided you're a keeper.

Now you're grey, what can I say,
Death could come any day,
But you don't want to meet the Reaper.

Lived a life, plagued by strife,
Now you sleep with a knife,
Just in case you meet the Reaper.

Trembling hands
Hands turn to ice
There's ice in bones
Present in my bones
But not in my heart
In my heart I try to find hope
Hope of tomorrow and
Hope for the future
The future without so many crutches
Crutches that I need now
Now is when I wish
I wasn't born into this

"Once more," Richardson said grabbing his hat and throwing it into the air. the  ball cap slid up through the air slicing the light from the moon and stars. The sky clear on a french night. The soft smell of a bakery near by.  All that one could hope for was in a night like this. And as I came back from thought. I could see the corners of my room. holes, beaten and torn. Here I am, lying around. in this **** smelling rat den. Where some coke head chose to go round two with his *****.