how do i describe the feeling of that january morning? the serenity of the cool air nipping at my skin, while the chilled lake water rocked the wooden dock beneath me. i took the peaceful walk from the house to the lake barefoot. the coolness emanating from the cobblestone seeped into the soles of my feet.
      i walked down the winding pathway and allowed my eyes to scan over the greenery that flanked me on both sides. tulips and lavender flowers blooming in the cold air. mulch filled the area around grass and flowers, keeping them protected and safe. bees kissed flowers and mingled as i strolled passed. how beautiful and tranquil a scene i was honored to witness.
      i dragged ironically eager feet over wobbly brown planks on route to the dock ahead. i felt water sway aggressively beneath my feet as a boat raced past the dock. a glimpse of a small hand waving graced my vision with the passing of the boat. my balance fumbled, but my mentality stayed steady. when i finally lowered myself onto the wooden box on the edge of the dock, the warmth of my coffee finally began to soak into my palms.
      my eyes continued to glaze over the scene before me, and for the next few moments, i felt the serenity of the universe consume my entire begin. after sixteen years, a moment of fulfillment. finally at home.
      the sun sent droplets of his sunlight down to caress the lake and offer her the gentlest of kisses. the droplets glistened off of the lake´s ripples and flirted with the water. they danced and bounced upon the lake until she shone so brightly it was hard to look directly at her. as the two became familiar, i felt the sun retreat. his light slowly faded away and his kisses disappeared all together.
      as the hours passed and he was seated back upon his throne, the lake was left empty, deserted. her sadness did not go unnoticed, the wind understood her pain, so she picked up and pulled us both out of our trance.
      the lake was offered the kinder kiss of the moon, and she accepted. the fainter light and the lighter kisses became what kept her whole. there was a air of mystery surrounding him and the lake soaked it up. he became her new lifesource, she found something that kept her going.
      me, i received my sustinance from writing this poem.

Ideal am I for looking at,
The price of me is love,
Foolish is that,
Thinking you would pay such cost for a little dove.
Deceived into it,
I gave my heart,
At the end it split,
Tearing everything apart.
You played with me,
Such a wonderful play,
I thought I would be loved and free,
You threw me away.
Broken I am anew,
Feeling only grief,
You can never sew,
A doll with no belief.

Rose's are red
Violets are blue
Yet we all know
That's not true
Though we still
Believe every
I love you

She was beautiful
Before she knew
She was deceived.

If a lover is what you need
Then a stranger I'll be
Love has made my heart bleed
One too many times to be set free
Now it is decreed
My heart stays with me

Promises deceive us
We confuse love with lust
Comfort for trust
While true love gets lost
We think it's what we want most
Then when it breaks we pay the cost

We are all strangers to love
We don't know her anymore
Her patience, endurance and forgiveness
We confuse with weakness
We want to force her into our relationships
While she can't be so tightly gripped

But we don't know that
Because we don't take the time
To get to know her
Instead we make up fantasies
Of what we want her to be
Of what we think Love should be

So if a lover is what you need
Then a stranger I'll be
Because you are a stranger to love
And falling for the wrong thing
Has left me too damaged
To risk it again

When someone tells you that you're their best friend
You have to ask yourself if they are yours

You believe in what people say
In the lies they feed you
In the stories they exaggerate
You assume my people are bad people
And will do me wrong
But the only person that might be doing me wrong all this while
Could have been you
All along
I trust you
I look up to you
But your constant demands
Your perfect executions
Are completely ridiculous
I won't give in
I will be me
Whether you like it or not