my love.
standing in the daisies. i wish you were closer.
standing strong and not letting go of the reeds beneath your feet
i always hope that one day. you will trust me again.
i know that what i did was unforgivable.
but today i stand.
alone.
what i said i meant. i will not change that. but how i said it.
i am disgraced. please believe me.

i
love
you.

I kept hush of the trappings of your watered down spirit so their ears would not bear the burning news. The flickers of innocence flashed its teeth as we wrapped our pinkies around eachother for the last time and promised to not let go. Four days after you walked, I laid my soul for eyes to greive upon, for hungry dogs to ravage my remains, slobbering like there wasnt enough on their plate to fill their expanding appetite. I wonder if on the walk back home you saw a daisy and thought of how you let that promise become as spoiled as my remains. I wonder if you plucked it, held it, and said how ravishing it looked, only to leave it with pulled roots.

The Medusian’s armor and uniforms completely ectoplasmic Bellis could change her exterior appearance moment to moment or vanish completely or reappear in any number of places at once with a singular consciousness. Bellis shared only a third of this consciousness with Annua her de facto lieutenant and sometimes liaison to the planetary counsel; although it was Sylvestia that enforced the regent’s power with silent unquestioning force coupled with an endless well of cold-blooded bloodlust. Bellis appeared at the court of the Queen of the Galaxy knowing this queen to be but a stepping stone rather a pebble to crush beneath her ectoplasmic boot heel.
Many planet delegates were present, some who hadn’t participated in the Great Wars because of their extreme distance. But here they were having traveling hundreds of light years to greet the new commodore of star quadrant 9 the largest ungoverned sector of space. The crab nebula and its super weapons were little match for a lighting strike into the heart of the nebula. Many experienced pilots in the planetary fleet relishing being chosen to steer the anxious marauders into the center of an enemy expecting little more than a small invading force. Dividing into three prongs of attack left the enemy defenseless with crippling blows from all sides. Bombs dropped they could not destroy destroyed things that had lain unseen for ages. Eons of uncovered stoneworks and columns, gigantic metal works, bridges and tunnel networks revealed to lay below the surface of every metropolis, cosmopolitan center, and small village. Walls were no barrier to the shapeshifting invaders the one unchanging thing the gauge of their metal hacking anything and everything clean in two. Buildings demolished for miles around; planet surfaces scorched by their own internal heat as unstable volcanic plums and searing geysers punched into the crust allowed the burning mantel to escaping flooding plazas and wide avenues with a torrential wave of overflowing lava the zombie army thought nothing of.
Whatever managed by sheer will to survive the rains and floods of fire was minced with sabres striking at hyperspeed from miles away. Rampant electricity heating inert the gas in the planet’s atmosphere produced unstable volatile compounds resulting in world shaking explosions. The crab nebula surrendered after one assault; the devastation chronicled thereafter as the First Great War. For this overwhelming victory Bellis received the galactic Grand Star.

Everyday I watched Daisy dance in the park.
She was a girl of eight years old.
She always looked so carefree and
without a single problem in the world.

I came to watch her dance each day,
because I envied her beautiful innocence.
She twirled and leaped and curtisied and tip toed
across the playground without a hint of wickedness.

I watched her and thought of the work I had to do,
but Daisy had an abundance of free time.
I knew I was much too busy to be watching her,
but I loved the reminder of my long lost prime.

She was the ideal of who I aspired to be.
A girl who can dance with all of her soul
and not worry about anyone that may be watching.
A girl who knows the simple things make us whole.

I feared for my little Daisy.
I was afraid of the day she'd start to comprehend
that this life isn't one giant beautiful ballet.
When that day comes, her dancing will violently end.

I feared for myself as well.
What will happen to me when her dancing is done?
Who will I watch and admire each day?
The restless sinful flesh will have won.

What's a heart?
Well, clearly an
*****
then again
also a daisy
a little frail,
a little pale
out of curiosity,
you pluck a petal-
and then you're gone.

let me take you by the hand
and lead you to my garden
we don't have to do anything all day
you pack the picnic and i'll do the rest

we can just sit in the grass
rest your head on my chest
empty your troubled mind
out onto the ***** earth beneath us

i'll weave you a daisy chain
to replace the bad you released
and i'll crown you the king
of all carrot flowers

once we're tired of basking in the sun
our skin glowing golden brown
we can go run down
to the water and jump in feet first
we'll try our best not to drown

make me a ring out of a rosebud
and i'll do whatever you want
anything your mind can come up with
as long as it involves laying with you
underneath the shade of this tree

let's just live here forever together
for the rest of our days we'll happy be
bound together by luck, fate, and daisy chains
just you and me

summertime is here and flowers bloom
but inside my ghostly heart there is only gloom
because you're in love with my dreams
when the doors are shut and the curtains are closed
yet late at night i still yearn for you across the bay
in this much too-large bed i lay
desperately wishing you were *****

wait, no-
that's not it
i just wish that my side was the one on which you'd sit
i want you to sleep in my bed
i want to put him out of your head
i want it to be my baby in your crib
i want your third finger to wear my ring
i want you to be able to give me your everything

do you know what i want more than that?
i want to erase him from existence
i want to rub out the last five years
like chalk from a chalkboard
and start anew with you
i want to pick up where we left off
with you waiting patiently for me
hanging on my every word
as though they were the sweetest sounds you've heard
like honeysuckle or roses or poppies
or daisies

but no
you loved me too
well guess what? i love you
no past tense
no "too"
i love you
everything i do
every breath i take
every time my hands shake
every smile i wear
oh, that's my cross to bear
the *****, the banter, the banquets, the bands
my darling dear, it's all for you

don't you see?
why can't you understand
the part of my plan
where five years just disappear
this house is too big for only me (lonely me)

i should be laying next to you
but all i have is this green light
i close my eyes but it's tattooed inside
i wish i could put that thing out of my sight
but when you're laying in his bed
at least i still have my green light
to give me solace at night

lovely lady, i'll follow your lead
i learned to do that in the war
no matter how far
you have my heart
just promise to hold it dear
and for the rest of my days
i know i will have no fear

I love you like darkness, It fuels my mind. In secret between the shadows and within the soul. Like a plant that hardly blooms beneath the others yet, when it does it's the most beautiful of them all. Carrying itself to the light, without knowing how I found myself being so fond of you, without complexities or pride within our way I found you existing within my heart. My chest, my arms, and eyes.