New week
Relief
Realizing
There was no reason to worry!

You were not told
So I can put my anxiety on hold
Yet still
I wonder...
Is there a chance
In the future?

My emotions
Churning like oceans
The inner tempest
In temporary rest...

Still
I hope this is a phase
While I walk
In this maze
Of which
Is nameless.

Waiting
For the time
When my heart stops racing
My pulse under control
Put out this strange fire
Pulsing in my veins

Other matters
Unmentioned
Hidden
Left for another piece
Of the endless numbers
Of parchment
To hold my thoughts.

- Jay M
April 15th, 2019

yet she's so nice-
one struggles not to dream
for she's so nice-
yet not as cruel as it seems

hard to imagine-
imagining that she thinks alike
never, don't be stupid-
not in a million years, alright

but then a tap comes to greet me,
on my back not discretely
I swear I jumped slightly-
when she sat right beside me

I am an expert at crushes;

From the age of when I could walk
To the latest of my blinks
I have had a crush

I admire from afar
If they approach me
I melt

Once a guy liked me back
And I was ecstatic
But it ended in storms

See, I couldn’t reciprocate
Even if my heart
Wanted to

I’m scared I cannot love
Or haven’t love to give
I’m scared I cannot voice
My loveliest feelings

I took down my clouds and my stars
Exhausted and frightened of my pain.
As I began to pack my heart away
He took my hand and whispered my name.
He unpacked the box of night and day
Smiled, and wiped my tears away.

And like that,
I learned
to love again.

I swear there will come a day
When his voice doesn’t prompt your head to turn,
Heart pounding and insides dancing.

You’ll wake up one morning
To find the world bleak and greying.
You’ll see the ghost of him
in the clouds
And smell his scent
on your shirts,
But one day the sadness will get bored,
And one day, it will no longer hurt.

But the most beautiful thing will be
To find that you accidentally
left the door open and
With your back turned, in will walk
A guest with a smile and outstretched hand.
The moment you touch his skin and meet his eyes
You’ll be surprised to find yourself once again
Under pink skies.

Then you will think back and smile happily
At him, who once hurt you so painfully.
The morning spring will kiss your heart
And with a smile,
you will find
the strength to part.

Rosy cheeks, jet black hair
Elegant scent that filled the air
Cheeky smile, brightest eyes
Extremely humorous and wise

He was the so-called ideal
He had a gentleman's appeal
Just like a prince charming
So handsome and alarming

He was "perfect" and "intact"
But it does not change the fact
That despite his perfection
I hate him, not to mention

"Impossible!" the others exclaim
I dislike mentioning his name
He's cute and also he's smart
I don't like it even from the start!

He's witty and he's calm
He would never beg for alm
I'm not envious, of course not
It's even deeper than you thought

He's not that bad, I could honestly say
With that, I'll try to explain anyway
Why do I hate him? Is he secretly bad?
Well here is a thing that drives me mad

He's caring and he's kind
For a little piece of mind
He's helpful, courageous
Many says that he's gorgeous

Everytime I steal a glance
It makes my heart flutter and dance
When he laughs and smiles
I remember and cherish it every while

So I hate him, a lot more than one
For one small crime that he has done
He could've just asked or give warning
He stole my heart and had me falling

And oh do you have some nerve,
Stroking my hair on the coach ride home
Then leaving me before our stop.

You smile and laugh,
Like every word we share is an inside joke
And then leave before I have time to open my eyes.

But now they've never been wider,
I may have had them closed the whole ride back,
When I rest my head on your chest,
But your ribs hold no weight.

My head is filled with helium,
I'll float myself away from you so fast and
I should have known when I noticed your seatbelt was undone.

That I was never going to be a concern to you,
That you feel no guilt for the casualties.

Crushing on you is
Just like cutting my own skin
It only hurts me





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