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Lynx Nov 2017
As the crowd moves around me
I cower
and make myself
as small as I can
My eyes burn
and my chest hurts
"don't hurt me"
I think
as I cry so hard
my throat refuses
to let me form sentences
people ask what's wrong
but I can't answer them
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
Is all they can make out
and all I can make escape my lips
I'm sorry I'm scared, but I don't know what to do
Please forgive me
and don't hate me
for the fears
I can't control
I experience a phobia of crowds, and although it's not nearly as bad as 3-4 years ago, it's still pretty awful.
Paul Butters Sep 2017
Yell your head off
And shout, shout, shout.
Get in amongst them
And put it about.

We’re awake now, hear us cry!
Full of energy,
Watch us fly.

Out of our slumbers,
On the up.
Highly charged,
We’ll win The Cup.

We’re all full of motivation,
Hear our incantation.
Forward we go, bursting with pride.
Come with us, enjoy the ride.

We’re the greatest, we all know.
Ever ready to fight the foe.
We are winners through and through,
Even better than Doctor Who.

We will put the world to rights.
You will see incredible sights.
All together we unite,
So stay with us and
The future’s bright.

Paul Butters
Lyrical again.
Nook Aug 2017
She was like none I’ve ever met
Meeting her I would never regret

Her quirks, fishing rods
Reeling me in with ease

When I’m at crowded places
Her silhouette is what I seek

I can’t help but wear a smile
Whenever she’s within a mile

I lack the courage to tell her this
And her image I always miss.
#4
Alvira Perdita May 2017
i can't go to a bathroom by myself,
the overcrowdedness sets me off
like a firework on new years.

the fear that bubbles inside,
panics me to the point
of not being able to breathe.

is this what my life is?
being afraid of being alone
in a crowded room?

is this what i have become?
a walking ball of anxiety,
afraid of merely existing.

it's a living hell.
why can't i just be okay?
i wish i was okay.
boy, what a horrible day it was.
Delta Swingline Mar 2017
I stand in front of thousands of people, and I don’t know them, but I do know you...

When I was ten years old I wanted to be in the Olympics, an athletes dream in front of millions of people I don’t know. But I know you.

I stood on the podium, a stage of glory and pride for my country, medal around my neck, as the national anthem plays through my ears I begin to remember that I was gonna be a soldier.

At 14 years old I told you I wanted a badge or a medal, a uniform to wear, and something to fight for. And here I am standing on this stage about to receive recognition for my job.

And 15 year old me standing on a stage in front of thousands of people, with a guitar strapped around my body. And I’m singing a song I wrote, and only you know why I wrote it. The secrets I don’t tell the public are told to the people I really do trust in this world.

And yet here I am on a stage in front of people I don’t know.

Do you remember? I told you that you didn’t need to be remembered by the whole world by putting your name on a star in the sky. The sky doesn’t need another star, but Earth has it’s own star with your name on it, and it’s you.

And you don’t need to be remembered by thousands of people to be happy, you just needed me to remember you when I stand here.

You asked me to never forget you if I ever became famous. And I’m not famous. But you should be, you’re the star remember. You believed in me, told me I was worth something, enough to be here on this stage. So why aren’t you here? You are worth remembering, so why don’t you want to be famous? Why don’t you want to be on stage? I have a constant fear of never being remembered and you don’t want to be that person. Why do you not want to be on this stage? I want you here. I need you here.

I stand on a stage in front of people. Most of them, I do not know. I don’t remember why I’m on the stage anymore… But I know that you’re proud of me for whatever reason that might be.

I remember saying some sort of speech to these people, and suddenly you’re here. I can see you in the crowd, and you’re smiling. You seem so happy to see me here, almost as if you were on the stage beside me. And I wish you were. But I know you don’t need to be remembered by these people, but I remember you.

And when my speech comes to a close I say this: “Thank you, to the star in life who never made it to the sky, I just want you to know in this moment. That we made it!
If I ever become famous, this can be proof that I predicted my own future.
What's the point in leaving if I wasn't even there in the first place
I don't like loud spaces, I don't like feeling like I can't look someone in they eye because I know that they will judge me and talk about me as if I'm not present
Strangers touch me and I feel like I've been stripped down to my skeleton
They make a joke because they saw me staring into space
They knew I was present
They knew I wasn't even there
What's the point in leaving if I wasn't even there in the first place

-E (c) 2017
apollota Feb 2017
Fragmented nothings
And sullen crowds,
A life dreamed in color
Under dark storm clouds.
And all the while in wonder,
A fairyland awaits.
Disrupting the hands of time,
To anger the fates
Wrote this on Jan 03 2017
euphonious Jan 2017
crowds and
paintings on the wall
each of it comes
as a background
to her prodigious story
even Vermeer can't stand out
because only her
slightest movement
catches his eye
in every
frame of existence.

she is
the best form
in a room full of art.
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