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K-ROB May 2020
I’m stuck in my dungeon,
trapped with no way out.
Nothing to do but eat, sleep and think
I messed up,
But nobody deserves this.
No phone, no car...
Little contact with friends.
Lindsay can’t come to St. Louis.
I can’t go to Buffet
I can’t wait to go back to school!

I’m drowning in my self pity.
It’s a downright shame.
Where do I go?
Who do I blame?
Myself, but not completely!
I’m banging on the door,
Trying to pound my way out
But there is no answer,
Just ignorance and pride,
On the other side!

Do I stay or do I go?
Do I stick around or do I flee?
Do I think of them or if me?
That is the unanswered question
I might know the answer; I don’t recall...
They make themselves feel BIG by making me feel small.
Who needs counseling again?
That just isn’t healthy!
Man, how I wish I was wealthy!
Then there would be no questions on what to do!

That’s what makes me happy, them.
No place to go,
I wish it wasn’t so.
I’m stuck and imprisoned,
A prisoner in my own home, with no key.
Rock bottom is what I just hit
It’s a new destination,
A new and different place,
And I just can’t escape.
I wrote this poem in high school when I was grounded. Talk about dramatic. Now in  I know where my daughter gets it lol. I am posting this one now because I think everyone can relate at this time with the virus. It’s not as bad as it seems though, definitely not Rock bottom
Poetic T Feb 2020
I wasn't the flower in a vase,
          more like in amber,

Captured within a vessel
of unreachable ambiguity.

I was seen but not heard,
                a silent movie of beauty,

That screamed silently,

                                  but was
         smiling on the outside.

My other half, was the remote,
                 batteries never inserted
so instead hitting the screen but

not where bruises could be seen..

For perfection shouldn't be blemished.


They didn't have a mute button,
   only loud when alone..

"Morning,

Was the catalyst for the repercussions
         of anothers manners,

         but I never answered back,

but still I was flirting with my looks..

I'm freely caged, never able to fly..
       Instead I perch clipped wings

never aloud to fly beyond there eyesight.
Siren Nov 2019
Seemed relief.
Let in the belief,
I'd be in control.

Hasty find,
the foxhole.
Is this foxhole safe?
MSunspoken Nov 2019
The dawn of dusk turns gold to dust
The moon shares my loneliness-
A sliver of thread comes out the hem
Of my finely crafted soul

A whisper lost for sound
Spoken ever so slightly-
Is the tale of those forever loved
That leaves my heart unsightly

A knock in the chest
Is the gale pulling me forward-
Inching me through my fate
Still moving in a haze

A fall would be an escape
This thought echoes in my head-
Encouraging the drop so certain
Proposing an end to this dread

Now walking on a web of steel
Following the intricate delicacy-
Of the memories I once foresaw
Buried six feet under

The lightest touch so soft
A feather to tease my soul-
Daring me to follow the day as it shrivels
Pushing the last bits of gold to their extent

Although, drop so tempting
I vow to hold my ground-
trudging on past my history
And viewing the morning sun
This sin't part of my challenge, but recently I have been thinking about those I've lost in the past. At one point we have all taken someone for granted, which makes a sudden loss much harder to swallow. Grief is a killer, and allowing it to take over your mind will only dig you deeper. This is from my experience at least.
B D Caissie Sep 2019
It’s never good when you find out there’s strings attached. It’s even worse when you find out you’re the puppet.

©
Ruheen Aug 2019
A lost king alone in his palace.
A king who made mistakes,
And lives in debt.
He drove them away.
Ruined his home,
Soon to be killed,
Old and frail.
Repays day by day,
By remaining lonely.
It's a small price to pay,
For all he's caused.
The games he's played.
He drove away his Queen, now. Didn't he?
Don't they?
Let her fight for him.
She was living in multiple alternated realities
constantly fought solis against luna you know
while experiencing delusions and fighting slavery

...Inside of his domestic kingdom,
she figured out who's characters were for show.

Oh god, the ways in which she revealed her own darkness sometimes was sickening but manipulation had before held her captive.
She became a victim with no strength to respond any other way than being passive.

This so-called king possessed weapons of puppetry and diluted morals, she applied fresh lipstick to her face and got ready to constantly give him oral.

Over & over again she misplaced her caring art, seemed to have mastered her heartlessness into a form of art.

Forever she remained mute, nobody sensed her pain if she sat there playing cute.
She stuttered whenever she tried to use her voice, people judged her for being quiet like if it was her own ******* choice.

...Trauma lingered in her mind and on her face, to whom it did not concern as long as she was cooperative dressed in lace.

She was fully aware this darkness she had endured may have triggered inside of her a personality disorder, as she crawled on her knees & repeatedly gave in to his wretched & violating orders.

She was no longer the same proper creature, she was all over the place and possessed heartless features.
How was she supposed to be sure of what she truly feels?
When she could not even tell apart delusions from what is real.

Developing h.p.p.d
Authors note*
Wrote this piece in hopes of reaching out to anyone out there who might be struggling with giving in to ****** peer pressure. ****** peer pressure is still ****** assault. You are not a puppet, you are entitled to the right to your body & your right to say no. If something doesn't feel right or you wish to hold yourself up to having higher values/standards, then by all means put your foot down. Don't settle for selfish lovers, be so busy loving yourself in the meantime until you find someone who respects your body and mind, rather than plays with them for their own pleasure. In case nobody told you today, you are worthy and your feelings are valid. You do not have a job here on earth to please others, sexually or in any way. I love you. <3
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
vinci Mar 2019
Today might be a bad day
And I'm unprepared
Eating chips and drinking minute maid
Because something's making me not care

Leaves falling in my backyard
Along with drizzle in the air
Thinking about how life can be hard
In different ways

Deciding if I should stay in bed
And get destroyed by the storm
Because most times I wonder
Why I was born

- 7/25/17 11:56a.m.
Sometimes it doesn't feel like me
What I'm living in is foreign
What I want versus what I need
In a way it feels distorted

I was use to deprivation
In a way it was my pride
I didn't need or wanted as much
Even now I still don't mind

Overwhelmed with newfound freedom
I am free. Still, I am lost
I'm no longer trapped or controlled
But that was all I was ever taught

I was raised by maps and manuals
Now you give me a pen to write my own
Opening various paths around me
Paralyzed in anxiety to take even one alone

If recovery meant burning all of my maps
And rewriting all of my manuals
Letting go of strict rules and superior words
To be mortal than something mechanical
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