The moment felt your lips on mine again
Footsteps on my heart
Wings filled not only my stomach
Fluttered through each part

Even being apart for months
Still run back to your embrace
Beginning to wonder if we truly love
Or just love the chase

I have given all I had before
Won't do the same thing twice
Took until there was nothing left
Inside my heart but butterflies and ice

**** violent urges
Heaven's gate in your smile
Hook with fleeting surges of warmth
Through frozen veins for miles

No one able to light up my body like you
The way winding happiness spreads throughout
Like wildfire with one single touch
Burning hesitation in my core along with doubt

I do not know why I let you back into my life
Into every tissue and cell
Thought that I was free from your control
Rooted too deeply to completely expel

emma, 13 years old.
alfredo, 61.

emma: hi grandpa nice to see you what's your wifi-password?

alfredo: i don't have wifi.

emma: written altogether?

countless nights
the same dream:

awaking in black water
dressed in jeans and a
rugby-shirt

legs under water so i
am trying to protect my
cell phones from

damage

Afraid of our own shadow, but
yearning to be free, searching
for our utopian ideal

life's a beach
gravy, easy street

scared to loose the chains
with which we bind ourselves
break free from obligation

our 'destiny'

into chaos

open the door of our life cell
of order, routine
step through the veil
live the dream
but all we can do
is complain and complain

A room devoid of life
no less bland
than a hole in the ground,
but with a little more light
functional, bed, chair, table
and an intangible fear
of something it has (in abundance)
time, and plenty of it

Everyday someone enters.
Everyday someone leaves.
But not me.

I've been here for 12 years now.
The pain I feel gets better with time.

Or so I'm told.

Isn't it ironic?
Someone tells me what it's like
But then I experience it.
Tell them otherwise.
But I'm wrong.

As usual.

An enemy to myself
a ******* up book fallen off the shelf
God please help me, save me through hell
my plea, I plead, I need all help
seek shelter from shell
this vessels a flooding jail cell
my fate unassisted destruction foretell
this world's a system, I'm lowly rappel
repelled from the flame up top as well
not dismissive of mission to pass through natural
or worldly but the worry has me shaken but desensitized stiff
mistaken, surly i can't, won't adrift
off course, of course not

I wear my scars like diamonds
piece by piece
collected
from every place that I've been
mindless,
lost, blind, unable to find this
compassion
for fellow man
to help
myself, because the way
we treat the world
is the way we treat
ourselves,
and it's hell
out there --
but in here, just kind of warm,

in this home I've built
from scar tissue
to clothe me
when I'm homeless
because home is
where your heart is

and we fool ourselves
and romanticize
our drug abuse as art

from every start of
this sad little song;
the tiniest
violin
and we all can sing along

yeah, we all can sing along

and we sing:

me in my mansion
of scar tissue
I can't love myself
so I can't love you
(and) it's true
we're all lonely
lost
and if you could
only see me
remember just to breathe
just to be,
and then we
could look our reflections
in the eyes
and then me and you
might drop the veil
and finally realize
the spiritual
connection

to build bridges
even when we're helpless
if we could only be
just a little bit less
selfish:

take my plate
it's for you
I can't feed myself
I'd rather feed you--

But here in my mansion
of scar tissue
a phone call is like
a gunshot, please--

don't steal my diamonds,
don't
steal the only home
that I've built to
reside in

my vast hall
of vast walls

I'm afraid of December
but,
eager for the fall

this is all I've made
all these years
and if it all would
disappear

m a y b e   s o   w o u l d   I
well then maybe I
could grow you here
a garden--
wall to gravel,
great for drainage

to keep out all the rot
of the rotten cell the self built

I'll topple down
I cut meow-t
I'll bring the fall
and find my diamonds
made of skin

oh--if only to be free
of these walls
I'm living in,
to only excise myself
from my prison made from skin;

would you be there?
would we be there
together?

could we finally lie
eye to eye
breathe deep in
the rebellion

breathe deep,
break free,
of this cell
wall we've cemented
ourselves in to

this is me,
I want to sing

I want to sing with you

we'll swell well form
the start of one tiny violin

to a whole orchestra
of the whole world's song
all these cell-ves
all alone
but together
sing along

and we'd sing:

me in my mansion of scar tissue
I'm learning to forgive
myself
so that I can break
through

and it's true
we're all so lonely
and if I could only
see you
remember just to breathe
just to be
and then we
could break the glass,
I to I

and we'd all be free.