Have I been too long at the fair?
by Michael R. Burch

Have I been too long at the fair?
The summer has faded,
the leaves have turned brown,
the Ferris wheel teeters,
not up, yet not down . . .
Have I been too long at the fair?

NOTE: This is one of my earliest poems, written around age 15 when we were living with my grandfather within walking distance of the Nashville fairgrounds. I believe the Ferris wheel only operated during the state fair. So my “educated guess” is that this poem was written during the 1973 state fair, or shortly thereafter. I remember watching people hanging suspended in mid-air, waiting for carnies to deposit them safely on terra firma again. Keywords/Tags: state, fair, carnival, carnies, Ferris, wheel, teeters, teetering, up, down, summer, fall, leaves, falling, time

Have I been too long at the fair?
by Michael R. Burch

Have I been too long at the fair?
The summer has faded,
the leaves have turned brown,
the Ferris wheel teeters,
not up, yet not down . . .
Have I been too long at the fair?

NOTE: This is one of my earliest poems, written around age 15 when we were living with my grandfather within walking distance of the Nashville fairgrounds. I believe the Ferris wheel only operated during the state fair. So my “educated guess” is that this poem was written during the 1973 state fair, or shortly thereafter. I remember watching people hanging suspended in mid-air, waiting for carnies to deposit them safely on terra firma again. Keywords/Tags: state, fair, carnival, carnies, Ferris, wheel, teeters, teetering, up, down, summer, fall, leaves, falling, time

Fellow feelings
flake the air
Frosted flowers
falling down
Funny faces
frowning fairs
Follow fearless-
ly front of them
Fondly faking
faking friends
Foreign feelings
Fellow feelings

fun and games
and bright lights on strings
stuffed plushies & autumn leaves
and kindness from every
person i see

until
you remove the carnival glass
and im seen for what i am
and the carnival goers
in all their own carnival masks
do not understand

ive spoken my truth
so they pack up the stands
pile bright costumes
into dark vans

and i find myself left
with an empty field
of cold air

So bored, scrolling through social media sites.
I see you've updated.
Excited, I message you.
Just a simple, "Hi."

Shortly, I realize my mistake.
The recent picture, it shows you with your friends.
Laughing, having fun.

I remembered what you said yesterday.
"I'll be at the carnival tomorrow!"
Your face in the photo looks so, so happy.
Smiling brightly, eyes shining.
All the things I could never make you feel.

What's the point anymore?
I delete my message.
You won't be answering anyways.
You're out there, having a great day.
And where am I?

Just here.
Wherever that is.
Sitting, staring at this screen, watching, waiting.
It's all too much to handle, imagining you today out with your buddies.
Playing in the sun, on the carnival rides
without me.

We used to be close, so close.
What happened?
I was thrown out, like a broken toy.
Tell me, to you, am I nothing at all?

Unbearable.
I scroll past the picture trying to hold in the tears.
It's all too much.
I can't do this anymore.
I can't pretend.
It hurts, it hurts so much.
I know, deep down, I still love you.

Even though I cut that ribbon, it's weaving back.
Why now?
It shouldn't do that, you clearly didn't care.
So why still do I?

I clutch my chest, let out that sob.
The tears come falling.
The ribbon's back.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to hurt you.
I feel so, so, alone.

I'm so sorry.
I fell in love with you all over again.
It's torturous.
Once again, I'm feeling alone.