I live at school.
Not because I love it,
but because home is a war I got tired of losing.

Boarding school was supposed to be an escape.
But turns out, monsters don’t need addresses
they travel in texts, in voicemails
in the mouth of teachers
who were supposed to be grown ups,
but act like mean girls in blazers.

My stepmother doesn’t have to be near me
to make my skin crawl.
Her words arrive on screens.
Her voice leaks through the phone.
“You’re a disappointment.”
“An embarrassment.”
“She thinks she’s better than everyone else.”

She weaponizes my silence.
Twists my distance into guilt.
And the teachers?
They carry her messages like loyal dogs.
Repeat her insults with that tight-lipped smile
like they’re reading bible verses
instead of abuse.

And when I crack—
when the rage explodes out of my chest
because no one listens until I yell—
I’m the problem.
“She’s aggressive.”
“She has anger issues.”
“Unstable.”

But tell me—
what do you become
when you’re poked, poked, poked
every single day
by girls who think pain is a game
and teachers stand by
like broken statues?

What do you become
when every voice you hear
is one telling you you’re too loud,
too bold,
too much—
when all you’ve ever been
is trying to survive
a world that chews you up for breathing wrong?

I never wanted to be the girl who fights.
But kindness never stopped the bleeding.
And fists speak louder in a world
that turns its back when you whisper “help.”

All I want is peace.
Not your false calm—
not the silence that chokes me.
I mean peace where I can exist,
unafraid of my own name
coming out of someone else’s mouth.

I want to walk through these halls
and not flinch at the sound of my phone.
I want teachers to teach,
not take sides in wars I never started.

I want to feel safe
somewhere.
Anywhere.
I’m tired of being told I’m too much
by people who give too little.
I’ve bled in places you’ll never see
and still managed to be kind.
Do you know how strong that makes me?

So if you’re reading this,
and you’ve ever made someone feel small
just because you could—
congratulations.
But I’m still here.
And your hate?
It ends with me.

Because I will fight,
if I have to.
But all I ever wanted
was to be left
the hell
alone.

It hurts so deep
The pain is no relief
From the feeling of being an outcast
And lost
And losing yourself more than what you ought
To find yourself skirting around in the distance
Never the object of embrace
Just disgrace in this case
Cards were stacked against you in a way
In such a way
Where there was no way out
Just deeper in it the pain deepened
Feeling lost and hopeless
Holding on till another weekend.
And the week starts again
The weak go on in pain
Refrain to reframe the reality
You’re so lost
You become the lost cause
There is no congeniality.
It wasn’t your fault for being born with no spoons silver or forks too
It wasn’t you who chose the broke life it was chosen for you
It wasn’t fair then
It isn’t alright now
It’s easy to forget but harder to move on
Easy to live in denial with rosy glasses on
Take it off for it is…
Always harder to move on.

Your mouth is a weapon,
Your words might not ****
but like a bullet,
It can do a lot of damage!