Writing letters of my love for you, knowing you never really felt it too, thinking of the days gone by and realising our picture perfect story was all just a lie.


So it seems you broke my heart, my ignorance has struck again, I failed to see it from the start, when I was made blind by my foolish heart.


The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.


You left me all alone, wondering what I did wrong when you missed my calls and I needed you, you said to me now and forever and I believed it all but I was a fool for catching feelings and falling for you.


The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.


You packed a suitcase with the pieces of my broken heart when you put a stop to all my loving schemes and drove me away with the venomous words you threw my way.


A long nights ride to nowhere land, with tears in my eyes as I watched you leave it all behind without a word but just a look I lost all hope that there's any future of me with you


The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.


And so our story has come to an end, so much for happily ever after, when all I'm left with are memories of you and the days I wasted giving it all to you.


With a shattered heart and a lost soul  grieving, I regret ever giving my life to you, but with the pain and sorrow you left me with I learned to see the worth that I deserve and should be given.


And if  the time ever comes that you want to say you're sorry for all the hurt and the sadness you left me with, the times I was so gullible falling for all the sweet lies you told me, I'll be right there facing you with the devil within me.


The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.

This should have never started, you and I.
Got lost in all the feelings and the moments of lies.
Now all I ever know is the pain deep inside, I tore my heart open just to keep you alive.


I always put you first and forgot who I was deep down inside, drowning in the fear of letting go of what we could have had, we should never have happened and you know that I'm right. This love we had changed both of our lives.


Now I think I've learned my lesson trying to keep you by my side, I never needed you all along and lost myself in the process to make you feel loved and you're the one.


I blame myself because I knew that I deserved better but I kept falling for you and your promises of a happy life just because I wanted to feel a love that I never had.


I never thought I'd find myself again after I lost myself because of you, but now the fog has lifted in my head and I see the real you. Changes are made by the ones that want it, but you... I don't think you'll ever change yourself to be the best version of you.


Don't expect to come back again now that it's all clear and makes sense to me, I put you first because you just wanted to use me, now I know that everything that happened between us was just a way for you to cope... Because you needed my love to pick you up and make you high when you needed it most.


It all makes sense now the way you treated me... Was just a reflection of how you couldn't see, see your own worth and your ability to love yourself so you needed me the most as a lifeline to save yourself from your own insecurities.

Do I still take your breath away or has that power expired?
Leave me to my own devices because I’m growing tired
And for a little while you lead me to believe you’re done
Until the moment I start losing interest in which direction your feet run
And I say I no longer care but we both know it isn’t true
Honestly I do not give a ****...
About anything except you
The only thing ricocheting against my set of bones
Is your name bouncing like drumsticks on xylophones
For once I get to perform our song
Music to my lonely ears
Skeleton an instrument producing every note brain hears
Have my mutilated perception record melody
When finished play it over so I can sing off-key
And leave on your doorstep to remind you of what we had
When I am done realize I still feel just as sad
And screams bottled up press on the walls of my insides
Threatening to expose the place heartache hides
Slide shapeless secrets even deeper down the *****
Drowning damaged moments in a mess of distraction and dope
One
Two
Three
I count numbers to ground racing thoughts
Break the anxious flow in a failed attempt to untangle mental knots
I will go to extreme lengths to relieve madness in my mind
Waiting for comfort desperately needed but can never seem to find
And my own flesh torments with mocking memories
Using tattooed ink for leverage to ridicule and tease
A traitor amongst body parts equally writhing in despair
Breath inhaling solitude coursing through the stagnant air
Lifeless eyes exhausted from overwhelming cruelty they view
You put up careful facades but ******* is easy to see through
X-rays of faithful adoration reveal commitment a disguise
Well-rehearsed remorse when stripped is nothing more than lies
And crumpled promises fill the trash can with empty words you said
Same old disappointment cuts
Blood staining hands bright red
Stomach full of excuses violently crammed down my throat
Those plus dead butterflies swell causing my tummy to bloat
My heart now lies in throbbing pieces scattered across bottom of my soul
In the exact spot you used to reside within my chest is now an unfathomable hole

...

it's your fault people are worried about me,

no, it's my fault, i asked,
but you answered,

the wrong answer,

not even a proper answer,

i feel so toxic, ***** in a way,

i miss you, i miss us,

i want to cry again,
im tired of holding it in,


it hurts
...