She filled my silent cup with
bubbling crackling pops of laughter
Wine I couldn’t put down
drank to the lees
felt it seep into my blood
spun my world
knocked the lights out

One sip led to a pint
then I tapped the keg

When the barrel ran dry
I thought we’d brew more
but she took my glass
and tossed it
Crystal daggers
glint on the floor

The constellation on the concrete
reminded me of that night under the stars
when you said we’d name our dog Sam
and our kid would laugh like me

I should have drunk more slowly

When she left I lay supine
at the bottom
The vision of our child floats
face-down in the barrel
I drain into the wine
the blood mixes
I’ll fill the barrel by myself with me.

No reaction to action
Left baffled by the way you were acting
From lovers to strangers, now barely reacting
Love you forever to cold replies — no reenactment
Yelling instead of talking, now silence is our last interaction

you don’t talk
to me

you make it
hard to see

it takes
two to tango

and i’m tired
of playing
guesswork

that’s got me
all tangled up
and confused.

so when you
showed up

the last time
at my door

and told me
it wasn’t meant
to be

i was certain,
for sure,
that nothing was
wrong.

but you led me
on,

and said it was
only for
your benefit

and nothing more.

now i’m ripping
the pages from this
book

because i’m
just sick of it all,

sick of writing
chapters and

sick of falling
in love.

i don’t wanna
be lonely forever

but if that’s what
it takes to heal,

then i’m so
over it—

and this time,
i want something
real.

The sun shines brightly,
But I can’t feel its warmth.
This house feels dark and empty,
Especially when I look back at the night we spent together.
You held my soul, and I begged you not to ever let go.
If I had known what I know now,
You wouldn’t be haunting me.

Those days are gone when we held hands
And laughed together as the world spun around us.
I can still smell the floor wax and sweat,
'And I can feel the blisters on my pads from the nights we spent skating,
Like we were skating away from the truth.
This relationship was never meant to last

We loved like a fever,
But we weren’t strong enough to withstand the storm.
As the waters broke through and swallowed you,
I knew I would never love again.

I’m tired of this game, tired of chasing that high.
It feels like I’ve loved nothing at all.
Sapphires in the sky can’t compare to your eyes,
And even though she feels like home, you were the only one I would live in.

I wish I could be under your pressure,
So you could shine like a diamond.
I know we were both young and in the rough,  
But when you left my world, I lost the light of my life.
The colors of the world faded,
And the dreams I had vanished,
All because of the promises you made and the debts you kept.
I hope one day you’ll remember the times we had together.

The sun shines brightly, but I can’t feel its warmth.
Colors bleed into black,
And time seems to have frozen in place,
Even though I cry through the ice
.You’ll never be mine.
Oh, why can’t we rewind?

Back in those days, when we went on festival rides
And attended high school *****.
We kissed under the starlight and pinned ourselves against walls,
thinking we knew it all.
And this song would never end, because we would keep on singing.

If I knew what I know now,
I would have stopped chasing after that love.
Sapphires in the sky can’t compare to your eyes.

Smell the rain and watch the sky
This is what i give you
Touch the skin and taste the lips
This is what i have given you
The sand is warm and so are you
Swirl in the water that lick the shores

I have no light to guide you
So make your way by strife
I have nothing else to give you
But an ending life

Never ask why daylight dies
Why the herds head for higher ground
Never ask why i thought you to lie
And to hurt the one you love
Never ask why the night is cold
And why the wind tears in your soul
Never ask why there must be an end

These are the days of struggling
These are the days when you breathe and dream
These are the days of never turning back
What lies behind you is only black
These are the wounds i bleed from
This mortal coil drains me so weak
These are the last words of wisdom
I'll ever speak

I cry often and hard at the moment,
From the soul
Anxiety is rampant and how I wish it wouldn’t control me
I’m too heavy for the people I want to bring joy
But he listens and he cares and he knows the outlines of the darkness inside of me
He kissed my hands and my head
When I called him beautiful
He almost cried

It’s not right, right now. And the rest is up to God
Oh, God.
In Him I’ll trust.
When the time is right, He the Lord will make it happen
But for now, Him first I need. To seek with all my heart.
To find when He is all I have, that He is all I need and more, much more.
To know and to love. To be right with God.
Everything else can wait. Will wait.
His hands. My story.
Redemption? I pray so.
Is he an Isaac? I pray so.

I’m with a boy who will not or cannot love me, or say he loves me
If we accept the love we think we deserve, and I chose and choose him-
It seems fitting
The lack of love I deserve

The words that should soothe, save, heal
Would end.
The confirmation he suspected
That he cannot
So she holds it in
When she feels like she could burst, spill over
She would give him everything
But her everything is not what he wants
So,
The words remain unspoken and wane

He told her when he said it to her, he would say it every morning and night.
It was if, not when

And eventually, she didn’t crave it
Didn’t need it, didn’t want it
Let it mean nothing
Never said it.