Swimming in the thicket
Thickness of thorns tearing the fabric
Bones ache as blood curdles
It's bad magic.

There’s a chance at this,
Hunting the wishing wells for a mad Alice
White rabbits,
Time watching like a gatekeeper
Tight rope overhead tiptoeing past all seers
Never saw me coming, no.
Not when I’m silent.

Behind the veil of a smile,
Lurks a wolf’s grin
And I’m licking greedily,
Needing to feed my violence.

You’ll never know how these gears turn,
Feel the dark tides smack along the shoreline
Tripping the trip wires —
I’m snapping and you can’t see the monster lurking.
My mind should come with a warning sign.

“Danger close”

I hate myself
But that's okay
I'll like myself better
Another day

I don't have to hope
I know
With me
That's just how it goes

Just like a stray
I won't always show my face

Give it time
I'll be fine

I know my ways
It always pays
To give me space
It's best to let me go-
at my own pace

I'll come back if it's right
If it's worth the fight

I know my wobbly heart
Would pick it apart
Trying to find the art

If it's worth it
It will hard

And maybe if I'm lucky
It might leave a you shaped scar

Much to
my surprise
More and more
I come to find
☆Rainbow Stars⁠☆
✧ in my eyes✧
When most my life
I've lived in ⁠
✯Black and White✯

I am a person.

And I will silence nothing
at the risk of losing sight of me.

Not again. Not ever.

I am a person.
And I had to earn it.

But firstly,
I had to find out on my own
that I never even learned it.

Never knew that it existed,
let alone that I deserved it.

Never knew that there was more
beyond how others would observe it.

Left to tear apart the parts of me
that weren't ******* perfect.

Believed my body and it's ***
exist to only be of service.

That in the eyes of others is
where the sum of all my worth is

...𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴?

Every time I showed a piece of me
my mother ******* burned it.

Or a lover would reverse it.

Weaponizing all my flaws
to take it all and ******* turn it.

Suddenly my sensitivity is
where all of the concern is.

...𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦, 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵?

Cause when I speak, the space it takes
can sometimes be a trigger.

They're not the point of my story,
but put their ego in the centre.

Making it about them,
when it's something so much bigger.

Cause most people just hear failure
when they're asked only to consider.

And realize that maybe
they're not a big part of the picture.

That the child inside me paints
with the pain that is within her.

Dipping her brush into
those who have dismissed her.

All who mislead or betray,
and the ones that desert her.

She covers the canvas
with the sound of sad silver.

The colour of **** glitters gold
and makes silence shimmer.

It catches the light
and the colours all kiss her

I stand strong beside her.

It took a long time to find her.

We are a person.

And I will silence nothing
at the risk of losing sight of us.

So if you say that you need
to be blunt and sarcastic
in the face of my pain,
no regard how traumatic -
it's really quite tragic.

So I need to write something drastic.

Poking at uncomfortable ideas is
kind of my thing.

XxxxX
mica light
Apr 18 2025