putting my headphones
before my house keys.
       *it doesn't matter if I sleep rough
       as long as my head is drowned of thought...
    
       *that alone is enough.

I'M SORRY
YOU HELPED ME
IT DIDN'T HELP
I TOLD SOMEONE HOW I FELT
I GOT HELP
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP ANYMORE.

SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF BEING MY SAVIOR NO LONGER.
NO ONE ALONE CAN BE BURDENED WITH THE TASK OF SAVING ME.

I'M SORRY.
I YELLED AT YOU.
I HIT MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH A SPIRAL NOTEBOOK IN ANGER.
A SOCIAL FAUX-PAS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TEACH ME THIS IS WRONG.
I ALREADY KNOW.
I AM IMPULSIVE, NOT IGNORANT.

I ONLY PRETEND TO BE
BECAUSE I THINK
IT'S FUNNY
I LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE FUNNY
I LIKED TEXTING YOU
UNTIL YOU SAID
I TEXTED AS MUCH AS A LADY LOVER SHOULD

HOW CAN I HELP YOU
HOW CAN I MAKE YOU BETTER
PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU

I KNOW YOU ARE SUFFERING

I WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT

JUST DON'T TELL ME
"Go away" OR "Leave me alone"

When it's not so sad anymore I will show pictures of us to my future children.
I keep them hidden in 7 different folders on my computer to try and hide them from myself so I don't get weak and want to look at the better days.

I deleted you from social media, I blocked you, but as we all know that's a temporary solution to the bigger problem.
I always find love for you even when I hate you deep down inside- hidden under 7 layers of skin and memories.

When it's not so sad anymore I almost wish we would run into each other on the streets.
Maybe it won't be so awkward, I'll have moved on and you'll have moved on but maybe there will be a small spark still there.

When it's not so sad anymore, I will eventually delete those pictures from my memory and my computer.
I will find a way to permanently erase your love one of these days... maybe 7 months from now, maybe 7 years from now... someday.

I'm sorry I'm away
my minds been in  knot
untie me muse
before I think I die!
I need to write again
in lyrical content
it chokes me up
I think I'll even cry!

Ma Cherie © 2017

When you’re not newly or madly in love
When no new thrill has come your way
When the sunset is hidden by the smog
And the draught has killed all the flowers

What do you write about

When you’ve suffered no great disappointment
When you’ve won no award or any prize
When you haven’t gambled on love and lost
And the mountains you’ve climbed are just hills

What do you write about

When inspecting your navel is boring
When you can’t really tell how you feel
When you can’t see the humor in pratfalls
And nothing exciting has happened

What do you write about

When everyone you know remains healthy
When the trees in the woods are just trees
When the butterflies don’t visit your garden
And the hummingbird feeder’s abandoned

What do you write about

When you reach for the stars but can’t touch them
When you hear the song but can’t sing it
When you stare at your blackboard and it’s empty
And you’ve run out of ink for your pen

What on Earth do you write about.
ljm

I hate not being able to write,
About anything besides you,
Youre the only thing that fills my mind,
So what am I supposed to do?

I need different inspiration,
I'm tired of spending every day,
Complaining about how bad i feel,
and how nothing ever goes my way.

But each time i sit down to compose,
A masterpiece or a work of art,
I touch my pencil to the paper,
and cant help but spill my aching heart.