the only way you can hate, is to love
hate is love
betrayal is trust
we were one

the words, like fire in my mouth
left scars
to keep you, i had to lose myself

but was i holding onto you
like a child that grips their teddy bear
to save them from the never ending darkness
or were you holding onto me
like a child clenching a bag with a fish
wondering what will happen if you shake it

and just like that child's foolish hope of the teddy bear protecting them
it's all just pretend
an illusion that we wrap around our hearts to shield from feeling

your words have become cobwebs of lies stuck to the walls of my mind
hands that hold my head below the surface of the lake
the lake made by the darkest parts of my mind

the soft and gentle hands that once held mine are now calloused and cold
they no longer create
instead
they destroy

it was never supposed to be like this

i squeeze the teddy bear
you shake the bag
the lake fills my lungs
i'm going to drown
my fault
your fault

we were both
too
heartless

my apology that i gift to you
is made from the tears i've shed these past few years

my love is this gift
that i hope
you accept

We believe they
are true friends
until that day comes,
when you really need them.

well
you see
now this time
i had to leave
i had to leave the
memories ive made
behind
as one
by one
i couldn't trust
anybody
as everybody
turned their back
on me,
or tugged me down
down
down
into a trap
i was trapped
now i'm free
heartbroken
but
free.

Did I forget?
Did I let go?
Wasnt I there when you needed me most?
All those promises
Each and every one
I followed my heart and didn't run
Did you forget?
Did you let go?
You weren't there when I needed you most
All those promises
Each and every one
You followed what?
I saw you run

I don't get why
all the time
when I say nice things
the words betray me
and attack me.
was I too much
again?
I don't get why
my words have to mean so much
when sometimes
they don't..
mean anything.. at all.
they just read too much..
I can't help
but ruin everything.
it's a cycle.
nice words
can mean everything
to someone.. I guess.
I don't get why
I have to be
the one to blame..
I wasn't speaking
in code.. was I?
did I say something nice
to just be nice? yes.
now is that such a crime..
I didn't ask for the reaction..
but blame is still put on me.

nice words
equal
I love you.. i guess.

You were just a plot twist;
One I didn’t see coming.
It was that moment that I realized-
How could I think you loved me?

I didn’t suspect you;
If anything, I trusted.
I realize now my view of you
Didn’t do you justice.

One so light, the other dark-
Could I ever trust again?
I can’t believe that long ago
I considered you a friend.

If you had kept your feelings close
I wouldn’t be here now.
For better or for worse, I guess,
From innocence I rouse.