bella, just be forward with me
do you love me ?
do you love me still ?
because i can't keep living with that knife in my chest
struggling to breathe, because you just barely missed my heart

bella, just be forward with me
do you want me back ?
do you want me back in your arms ?
because i can't keep living like it doesn't hurt
like the blood hasn't already stained my clothes

bella, just be forward with me
do you miss me ?
do you miss the honeymoon period
where we were so in love, so immersed in each other
no matter what anyone said, we always belonged with the other ?

bella, just be forward with me.

she sometimes views herself a burden
but in reality she is part of my ever-evolving serenity.

imagery of the sun invokes heat, brightness,
positivity-- the moon is cast aside.
but in her blue-green eyes, I see the tides pulled by sincerity and pride in tandem.
bella luna pequeña.

coffee mugs, chocolate milk, Bob's Burgers, black cat, canned soup, Civilization, peace.
her rhythm matches mine and blesses me.
we aren't perfect, but who gives a ****?
i will be the sun.

In the solace of lavender-flickering
Fairy lights that guide
My syllables along,

Silence has never felt so
Concrete.

Silence, on questions I have asked my
Conscious for repetition, and
To hunt for answers
To unwritten dialogue,

And as I contemplate this concept,

The beauty of ringing church bells
Bleeds and creeps
Through my window,

Slicing through the distorted
Avenues and Sulcis of silence
In my mind,
                      To remind me
                                                Of where I am.
Lying in the back of my car,


Keys in the transmission,
Waiting,
                                          ­                        Hoping,
For a new path to explore
In this eclectic figure 8 of
Communication and relationship. I never
Try to make sense of it all,

Until
A faint whisper from a Princess unshackles
My liberating-attempting mind,

A faint whisper, harmonizing with the
Church bells,
Soothingly-caresses my ears,

A faint whisper,
Carrying,
The words.
I’ve.
longed.
To.
hear.






“Come with me this way.”







Hallucination of grace.
An overflowing melting ***
Of desire.





Stillness. Gracious like
A still river. Cercadas sing,
Rocks in awe don’t move.





Until the moment of that faint whisper,
I’ll remain in the spacious jar of silence,
Waiting,
For the Princess’ voices,
While the solace of lavender-flickering
Fairy lights
Guide my syllables along.

One star from the innumerable has fallen
But I will not let it die
The beauty and the memory shall not depart
In mine heart will it dine  
The seed has fallen from the sky
And my tears have watered the ground in which it will root
The soil is fertile now
And everything you have planted in me will surely grow

I know she plays to win
That's how she won me over
I tried to impress her
But she already fell for another

Last year I learned how to let go
But I kept doing it over & over
When do I learn to express myself
Before I forever suppress myself.