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Genevieve May 2014
I'm still scared
That I'm going to **** myself
I still cannot take baths
With candle light

Burning incense
To clear my head
And the water's too hot
Numbing my body

Stuffy air
That makes my eyes water

Remembering that night

I cannot submerge my head
Underwater
In case I decide
I do not want to surface
again

I could take all the drugs in the world
get high as a kite
Trying to feel something
more than this

This nothingness
Goes deeper than
Beneath my skin
I am dead inside
I don't know how to express how I'm feeling but **** it's getting bad again and I need more than my life to feel alive anymore
i Mar 2014
at age five,
her bath is full of bubbles
and happiness.
yellow ducks floating
on the surface,
make her young soul
happy.

at age ten,
her bath is not
full of bubbles.
she does not take baths
anymore.
she showers now,
because it's faster,
and forgettable,
just like life should be.

at age fifteen,
her bath is not full of bubbles,
again.
but now, she sits in the tub,
only dull water surrounding
her body.
on the surface there
are no more yellow ducks,
they are now replaced by flowers,
which are ripped out from the hard ground along with the root,
*just like she was ripped
out from her silly dream,
along with her insane mind.
and she lived her miserable life,
just like this,
just how she did now.

— The End —