When you see me you would think i had the weight of the world on my shoulders
I look burdened
Weighed down
Each step taken is a struggle
Every movement heavy
Heavy
That's how my body feels
It feels like weights are on my shoulders
It feels like sandbags are tied to my waist
It feels like my shoes are weighed down by bricks
Heavy
My body is so heavy
All my effort
All my energy
Goes into putting one foot in front of another
The corner of my lips feels like it has barbells at the end
It's a chore to smile
Cheeks are sore from the strain
Every muscle is protesting
Why must i drag my weighed down body out into the world
Each finger has a weight
Every motion is weighed down
If you looked at me with xray goggles you'd see all the weight i carry
Each weight has a label
Each weight represents a pain
Each weight has something from the past, present, or future
When people say baggage they think of me
All this baggage
All these burdens
All this weight
Heavy
I'm so heavy
How does one lighten the load
My back is crippled
My knees are buckling
My ankles are shaking
My head is a bowling ball
But i smile
I smile and try to make it through another day
I count the hours minutes seconds until I'm back in bed
Back in bed hidden from the world
Back in bed where my battered and bruised body can rest
Back in bed stripped down and exhausted
Because every day is a chore
All my energy is used getting out of bed
All my focus is used to make myself work
All my effort is used to put one foot in front of another
All my sanity is used trying to not let others see
Its almost impossible having a conversation
How does one speak when they can barely function
How can one speak when using all their strength just to stand
How can one speak when all they want to do is scream
Every day is the same thing
An endless cycle
It will never end
Get up
Smile
Stumble
Survive

Oh my sweet demon how I adore you so
We have ridden together many years
Your whispers comfort me when I’m low
You create and extinguish all my fears

You bring me the anxiety that’s grown closely
To my racing heart and dark mind
You bring me the shadows I love so dearly
Why do you have to be so sweet and kind?

I have grown up with you by my side
At first my enemy now ...  best friend
My heart is dark from where you reside
Leave! I ask, but this rule you will not bend

My sweet demon you are in my head
Taunting me and speaking sweet terrors
I cannot **** you for you sleep in my bed
You live in me because of all my errors

Demon, you bring familiarity in the night
The shadows that follow us I know too well
They are our friends too, of that I’m right
Spinning me forever, a never ending carousel

She wanted to be loved
but not in a total fairytale type of way, just wanted someone to understand that she was damaged
and still needed love
like everyone .
She would give her all for the one she
loves
Passionate and crass was her way .
A queen in ever aspect of her personality.

In our time we lived together,
An extended family with love forever,
Grandparents,uncles,aunts and cousins, me and you,
We learned to bond,respect the elders too.
Not the parents but the whole family cared for your upbringing,
No hassles,  everyone intermingled lovingly.
Then families separated,one son remained in the main house with parents,
The parents were highly respected and looked up to,
They were counsellors and advisors too.
But, in these modern times of high tech and working wives the whole scenario  has changed,
Wife is busy earning money,
extra baggage (parents) she cannot manage,
Send them off  to old people's homes,
Who cares for the old bums.
Our parents together our children were our priority,
Our children have forgotten their responsibility.
Wives run the home, have the last say,
Everybody grows old, soon it will be their day,
Extra baggage,
Learn to manage.