Who am I? I feel adrift, lost in an endless sea of nothingness. This doesn’t feel like my family anymore. They no longer need me, life has carried them forward, leaving me behind. I feel stranded, unmoored, just a distant fragment of their past. The relentless tide of time has swept them away, while I remain frozen, anchored in place. This house, once alive with laughter and warmth, now echoes with memories of a life I barely recognize. Each of them has moved on, their chapters turning, their stories evolving. I don’t blame them for leaving me behind, but the emptiness weighs heavy. It’s been so long since this truly felt like a family. Now, all that’s left are shadows, slipping just beyond my grasp. Am I a relic? A fading remnant of what used to be? I reach for them, but the distance between us is insurmountable, a chasm carved by time, widening too quickly for me to cross. While their lives tick forward, mine stands still, stagnant and silent. I ache for purpose, for a place to belong. A void stretches within me, yearning to be filled. Perhaps one day I’ll find the shore I’ve been seeking, a place to rebuild, to heal, to feel whole again. For now, I watch as they drift further away, my soul burning in place like a solitary beacon. Through this endless night, I remain, lost yet hopeful, waiting to one day be found.

It's distain apart from vain,
To spill and for it to not soak,
Drowned have I my words,
In a well to no revoke,
No one to cry for the eyes that face reluctance to tear,
Aloof,
The burden of my existence I bear.

I recall the day I first saw you, amid the frigid depths of winter, as I sought even a trace of warmth from the sun. My gaze found that warmth in you. When you drew near, you stunned me, clasping my cold hands in yours, imbuing them with warmth. I remember, too, the day I waited in that same chill for one final glimpse of you—only to be left, forsaken, my hands still cold, yearning for the warmth you once brought.

This lovely phase,
This lovely self-
Inflicted pain?

The lovely minutes
Of the deepest dread
As a lovely song
Removes my head.

A lovely day
Chopped up in parts
Of the ignorance
Of a lonely heart
That cannot have
The lovely harp
That once begged for its love so readily.
And when it stopped,
The silence fell heavily.

I waited for the boy in you
To become a man that was true
Until my bones started rusting
Until my soul stopped trusting.

I died for your arrival
I died for the survival
Of a love we both promised
You left me be uncherished.

you used to sit on me and swing  
cry and swing  
laugh and swing  
tell me of your dreams and fears  
and love,  
as we slipped back and forth  
through the air  
hung from the strong branches  
of our tree  

the ground beneath me  
well worn dirt, surrounded by grass  
The evidence of our days  
and hours  
carving out the earth together  

I am still here,  
tethered to this tree and waiting  
the ground beneath me  
growing greener and more empty  

sometimes you will come  
and sit on me again  
and swing,  
the beauty of purpose  
flooding through me for a moment  

but now when you swing  
it is mostly quiet  
like you are here but I am not  
you do not speak to me,  
do not dig in your heels and toes  
scrape the dirt and push off-
the ground beneath me  
forgets your feet as soon as you are gone  

and I am still here,  
tethered to this tree and waiting  
the ground beneath me  
growing green and empty