Sitting here
And pondering
Wondering
Why?

Merrily
Or cheerily
Yet I still want to die

My face is smiles
Happy
And misleading

My heart is fractured
Lacerated
And bleeding

My mind is buzzing
And words are whirling
Swirling
Twirling my thoughts
To delusions of grandeur

I sit
Detached
Maybe confused
Not sure what to do

Does anyone else feel this way?
Do you ever just
Wish it would end?

Do you ever look at your life
And think.
What have i done?

For me
At least
I have these
To ease
Those thoughts of nothingness

Though i am not famous
Or rich
Or even that well known

My words are profound
My thoughts are now focused
My poetry
And notoriety
Rising

My heart
My soul
My drive
My will
This day
I feel
And deal
This wheel
Of life
Or strife
A mighty blow
Although
My heart

Is screaming.

Trickling slowly
Back to the front of my mind
This sadness erupts
Tearing my mind apart
So painful it cuts
My already Fractured heart
How do I live?
How do I continue?
What do I do!?

Nothing....

There's nothing I can do
Every time
I try to find
Any sign
To free my mind
But I'm out of time...

Dreaming of a place
Where tears don't stain my face
Where every hello
Is a forced courtesy
How does one cope
When his job is to make people happy
But inside
No happiness resides...

My soul is tortured
Beaten
Bruised
And broken
And all of the words I've spoken
Are unheard
Worse
They are ignored

I am ignored

I am pain.

Clad in vinyl
Bound and gagged
My whip cracks
Cleave clefts of flesh
And the blood trickles
Lightly
Pain is pulsing
Penetrating prior unknowns
Chains and leather
Inclement weather
The pain and pleasure
A pinnacle of understanding
Transcending
Our reality
Like lsd
A mind ****
Of the brutal but beautiful
An ode to those beyond
Rather above the pale
I tie your hands
Bind your feet
Kiss your face
And release
The Master.

I see her
Shining silently
Across the void
Across the galaxy
Across the universe
System is binary
Though close
To mononova
Honestly glad
The past is over
Mon cour et tien
She says
In her eyes
I know it's true
And patience
Is my strongest virtue
The vastness of space
And still in one place
My heart is moving
Breath taking
Where this journey
Ends I do not know
But I'll make the trek
With a new light
Mi estrella
Mon Etoile nouveau.

I am darkness
Bleeding out
Into nothingness
I am pain
A grimace
A torturous contortion
This portion
Of my psyche
Fractured
I can't see
Repair
Yeah,
Right.
Tonight
My heart
Was ripped apart
I am
Blank
Is this sufficient?
Is it enough to see?
Have I told you enough
About me?

Another story
sad and lonely
My life is chaos
Spinning out of control
There was only one person
Who has the power to hold
To calm this storm raging within
My family offers little comfort
Without you
I realize my mind is broken
Was broken long ago
Then in to my life walked you
Holding that tube
Of gorilla glue
You pieced me back together.
Now you're gone....

I know I'm not perfect
And I've never
Endeavored
To be

What do I do....

I'm so ******* lost without you.