You wake up every morning,
at 6:30, to go to the hospital
where you work with people
who deserve miracles but
sometimes don’t receive them.

I would sit on the steps of the
apartment complex across from
yours and watch as the light
in your bedroom would flicker on
and count the moments until you
emerged from that front door.

What a love is a love like that!

To imagine your movements there
as you fixed your coffee with
a slight amount of sugar,
in order to go about your day.

Oh, how I could smell it, how
I could feel the warmth as you
would smile up, over the mug
and upwards at me.

What a love is a love like that!

Weeks later I sit here.
I am on the same stoop,
looking upwards at your window.
It is almost time for your alarm to
go off. I remember it well.

I stand, turn the corner quickly
before temptation grabs me
and forces me to your door.
My newfound irrelevance has remained
a source of consternation for me.

As I walk home I wonder whether
someone else will walk you to the bus.
Perhaps, you are smiling at that
someone now, over the top of your
slightly sugared coffee.

I open the door to my house.
I can't think of anything else,
only stop and pray that one day
you will perform a miracle
for someone who doesn't
quite deserve it.

If you are uncomfortable when you look in the mirror,
keep in mind:
We spent thousands of years
trying to convince the earth
she was flat.

We wrote her maps as evidence of the things we saw;
and she believed them.
She cried tsunamis, and had earthquake breakdowns.

Keep in mind: the Sun never gave up hope.
The earth will keep spinning and breathing
the star-dusty space void of encouragement.

Next time you look in the mirror
and second-guess your potential divinity,
remember you will keep shining and living.

Because the Sun is out there
believing in you,
compensating for lack of the human capacity
to treat each other empathically.

You don’t need proof or approval
to be exactly what you are;
Eventually everyone will see
your infinite beauty.

To be what they want
Is to win a battle
To be who you are
Is to win a war

unrelenting thoughts are vying
for valuable space in my head

"Will you pray with me"
All heads bowed and all eyes shut
But I did not close my eyes
So I wouldn't miss the sun slipping over the horizon to nestle under a bed of deep pink and purple blankets
More of a glimpse of the divine than anyone else saw in that moment
All of them focused on the blank dark screens behind their eyelids
Searching for a God that was right before my eyes