you used to leap over mountains
     to reach me
you used to sail through the seas
     to see me
you used to journey through darkness
     to hold me

and now you can't be bothered to do anything at all.
          because you simply "dont have the time."
                                                            s
                                                              o
                                                  s                  q
                                                e                      u
because t                              i                           i
                  i                         l                              c
                     m                 f                                  k
                          e                                                   l
                                                                                y


and then days become weeks,
weeks become months
& then it's becomes years since we've spoken

you say you don't have time,
but they say that you make time for the
          people
                          you
                                      love.

blue eyes, crashing into the seas of my heart.
you created a storm when you came and left.
now you're gone, and the ocean has left little but ripples to remind me of what once was.
     now you're gone, and i miss you.
          but i remember the tidal waves that once were,
               and i am fine with the peace that now is.

so i guess storms like you only come once in a lifetime.
and i guess that passion will never return quite like it did before.
and i guess that's okay.
     because i don't think i ever want to find a storm better than ours.

kinda regret taking for granted all those mornings i spent
             waking
                            up
                                   to
                                        you.

it's interesting how intially
with you I felt nothing

but now that it's over
there's this banging in my chest that's scREAMING

                  "please come back to me"

I never wanted you
     but want you now

but before all I felt was nothing.

see, I didn't mean for you to be my muse
       -my sense of pain and isolation

but now you are.
and isn't that just ironic

because before there was barely even a spark
& now my fingers ache and tingle
constantly outstretched
           -reaching,
          wondering where you went
          wondering what you meant when you said
                "maybe our timing was wrong,
                      but I'll always be here for you"

is that really true?


because the one before you sang the same tune.  



oh, you didn't mean to become my muse.
but now you are.

tell me why
          you wouldn't look me in the eyes
tell me why
          he denied he grabbed me in between my thighs
tell me why
          you wouldn't bother to TRY to tell me that

I COULDNT HAVE ASKED FOR IT AT 12 YEARS OLD.

this is the fear that paralyzes me daily.
this is the fear I have fought to take away.
a fear you will NEVER understand.

and that is why I say: PLEASE do not minimize my pain because
you
have
the
privILEGE
      


                   of not experiencing molestation yourself.

but he is none of those things.

and i will break his heart, just like mine did with you.

but that was just the thing, wasn't it?

because you were spontaneous
reckless
wild
bold

I couldn't dare try to control any bit of you
& yet I love you still