I. The sad ones..
II.Poems about despair..
III.The loneliness..
IV.The sharp and dull cutting of depression..

I. I smile when I am with you. We are not the sad ones but the happy ones through and through..

II. I can write about how despair wants in on our peace.. How hopelessness is trying to break through our little army of hope.. But in the end and always trying to begin our little army prevails everytime.

III. The loneliness is simply lonely. All the time. Simply because if you are not with me you're still by my side.. Loneliness tries and sends isolation toward us.  But is greeted by our friendship and companionship..  Those two form an equation that when worked out over a long period of time equals to Love..

IV.  Depression waves around its sharp sword and tries to stab with its dull knife.  The sword is poison with regret. And the knifes handle is made out of worthlessness.. But regret is but a frame in our mind.  The now and forward create a new canvas that we can paint over all of the regrets.  We can always create instead of destroy.  Make things more grand and full of joy.  The worthlessness simply fades away because of your smile.  Thats all I needed. We paint on each other smiles on our faces everyday.. And its all worth it! Because you are worth it all!

For a moment for a second I saw a shadow face in the sky..
Its eyes were made of pale light and false shine..
They were watching us..
One of us one of the same..
They created it all..
They ran everything..
Deep underneath..
And high above..
Their eyes could see us all in single moments of our own..
Each of them would have an equal to us all..
I was once part of them..
But then I fell asleep..
I have now awoken in the hills of forgotten eyes..
A place where their shadow shine eyes could not see..
They are called "The Hyperion."
They map out all of our lives..
Earth is just a chess board..
For all of us to die..
A chess board where we are all of the pawns..
While they are the kings and the queens..
But one pawn has made it to the otherside..
Unseen by them..
I will take them from the inside..
Just me as one..
Just me as everyone..

In my dreams she stands before the light...
Without a shadow on any wall..
Its because she is the light and she has no darkness in her at all..

I am forgetting about you.
Your smile has gone away.
No longer written on your face for me to see every day.
It's getting easier for me day to day.

I am forgetting about you.
Saved memories emerge from time to time.
They're full of colors of you and are easy to find.
But are fading away to darkness as if I were blind.

I am forgetting about you.
No more haunting smiles in dreams.
No more deep brown angelic eyes that made my soul scream.
Because I couldn't have you in my arms under the sunbeams.

I am forgetting about you.
That part of me is dying.
That part of me walked under the moonlight and was crying.
But there you were in the clear night sky simply shining.

I wonder if I will forget about you.
I think that part of me will not die.
I think that part of me will stay alive.
Nothing left for me but endless goodbyes.

The end of darkness is at hand..
A being of eternal light is taking revenge..
It lost its universe to a being of darkness grand..
And this Light God wants its universe avenged..

It consumes all darkness where it stands..
It now has 10,000 suns spinning around it..
It gathers shadows in its hands..
Until all darkness is gone and the universe becomes lit..

A final light rift will form..
And all true light will die..
A white hole will be born..
When the last of darkness has died..

I see the 10,000 sun halo among the cosmos..
And I head toward its direction..
I now have to use the power of darkness..
To stop this universal light infection..

I grasped the shadows in my hand..
Crushed them and turned them to light..
The darkness could not even make a stand..
I threw away the pieces of dead blight..

I am a being of eternal light..
No darkness was safe from me..
I am the last shine and beautiful sight..
I will consume all of your souls and set them free..

All darkness will shatter..
There is no where for it to run..
Soon everything will all be light..
And my eternal song will be sung..

Sun and stars..
Moonbeam scars...
Light of the night..
Is my darkness sight..

Under pale silver false sun..
The midnight run...
Hunting for your soul..
In pockets of moon glow..

I felt your lips on my neck..
Ghostly chills leave behind light specks...
Only it was not me looking for you all along..
But you looking for me in this ghostly song..

How were you able to steal away a piece of my soul...
Without trying to steal it..
Or were you?
I write your name in the star dust..
I see it luster in the shadow canvas...
This is where I first met you..
This is where I saw candles illuminate your face..
Your smile in the sun was beautiful...
But your smile in the candle light was bewitching...
I would do anything for that smile..
I know you are there..
On the otherside of twilight..
Mixing in with shadows and whimsical shimmers...
Holding a piece of my soul you stole from me...
While you smiled like a dark angel in the candle light...

I have done quite well forgetting about you..
And then you show up in my dreams..
Only this time you ignore me..
Which is fine..
I really do not need to see you smile in my dreams..
It will ruin everything..
It would start all over..
Your smile would be so beautiful..
Like the first day of the sun..
Or the first light that pushed all the darkness away..
But you walked away never turning back toward me..
Simply forgetting about me, as I am trying to forget about you..
You make it seem so easy, and it hurts and shatters me..

Nevermind....
Forget about this soul grind...
So much wasted energy on songs about stars..
So much imagination seep through these light scars..

Nevermind....
Was I so blind...?
I can't believe I created fractals of shadows and light for you..
I was blind and never saw things true..

Nevermind....
No more sad darkness, just shine..
I am free from all of this sadness..
I have found my way through all of this madness..

Nevermind....
Some of the time..
That I set aside for you..
I am one in my mind now and no longer two..

Nevermind....
I no longer feel confined..
Thank you for not missing me..
And showing me what I needed to see..

This beautiful color is now gone from me..
I found myself with a little bit of tears under my glasses..
They had a type of lens where you could not see my eyes..
They did an amazing job of hiding my tears..
So now the rain is coming back..
And so is the cold..
Going through memories..
Happy ones are all I have..
And now they all make me sad..
I wish there was more time..
The clouds will soon gather and turn to rain..
Just like they did in my eyes..
Creating a perfect mirror of sadness..
With a reflection of me wishing I could have said what I wanted to..
But I couldn't..
This color was beautiful..
This color shined even in darkness..
Regrets are pockets of emptiness inside of my chest..
They clash with all that is right about me..
I wonder if I was a color to you..
Or simply a gray one..
May you color someone else's soul the way I wanted you to color mine..

I capture this memory with my mind..
The way the sun lit up your eyes..
The wind made your hair flutter ever so..
My dream came true..

Heart uplink.. Loading love..................................
Mind uplink..  Loading memories and dreams............................
Soul transfer complete...........
Welcome to Arcadia Reverie......................

You may begin your journey..

Blackness turned into colors.. White first, Then red and yellow..
Then green and blue..
Then the aura of colors came on through..

Grass at my bare feet.. Sometimes warm and sometimes cool.. Soft to the step and calm to my senses.. I then came upon light fences..

This was the boundary to heaven..  The beginning of afterworld..  The skies were every blue I had seen in my old world..

This is the Promised land, Nirvana Elysium..  Arcadia Reverie lets me visit this Ecstasy Empyrean..

I crossed the light fence and became light.. I was now connected to every star in the sky...

They're was nowhere I couldn't visit, no place was to far away..  All were connected through lightwaves and dreams..

They're were colors I had never seen..  The color of dream, and the color of love was visible to me in this grand above..

I then got a message.. That my link was going to be broken..  The Arcadia Reverie allows me one hour in heaven and then you awaken..  

What a fantastic machine.. The Arcadia Reverie lets you visit heaven in digital dream..

Shadows blossom in corners where light is at the center of this room..
I play music I have never heard..

I turn the light off and the shadows become void..  
Into the darkness they mix with eachother..

That is until one of them lights a candle..
The shadows play among the candle light..

The candle light slowly dies away..
It was then a grand shadow brought forth a blazing candle..

The blazing candle lights up creating days across the cosmos..
The shadows call the blazing candle a sun..

The sun burns and burns for almost forever..
Other shadows in corners of the expanse do the same..

They light their own candles creating suns..
They later name the far away suns stars..

The universe has become lit...
Because shadows missed the light I had turned off..

I paint for you..
Everything in my soul..
But i suppose i didnt use enough colors
For you to notice at all..

I sometimes stop just to catch up..
To the beauty I have been missing..
Here in front of me..

The clouds have turned into rain..
It matches the emotions on your face..
But your hope for sunlight never fades..

I have to go with rain..
And you with the sun..
For I am the storm and you are the clear day..

If I stay to long the creeks become rivers..
And the rivers become lakes..
I have to move on before I drown everything..

I leave behind this rainbow for you..
Its a storm's goodbye..
Enjoy the colors among the dark blue sky..

Above the passing clouds the stars were moving..
As they would pass by they would sometimes split and travel to another dream..
We were watching this from my Grandmothers backyard in the past..
The night was cool and the grass was soft with a touch almost as cold as rain..
The stars became lights on a massive vessel that passed by in the past of my dreams..
My Dog Prince then came to me..
He has been dead for 24 years..
But he was there laying beside me in the cool dream grass..
The star vessel had no sound..
It was almost as if it was floating by like a massive balloon..
The ship left behind a streak of glowing rainbow ribbon in the night sky..
It slowly faded away into the now starless black sky..
My dog Prince was gone too..
I was now in the present awake in my bed...

I know she watches us from inside..
But us became few..
And few became one..
But I decided to stay and drink her sweetwater in the sun..

On light wings alone..
I hover outside..
I decided to stay for her smile..
And for her soul to shine..

I ignore the the warm calls from the south..
Just for a few more moments with her eyes..
My light wings brighten her day..
Even under cloudy skies..

There will be a day where I must leave..
Then I will be seen in reverie..
But even when I am not there..
Ill be with her in dreams and memories.. On Light Wings...

I remember hearing you say that you were the lightning..
I heard you go by today..
The thunder cracked the silence for but a moment and made me smile really big!
I knew you just past by!
Its good to hear from you...

You flew in on the wind..
You brought all the colors with you..
My gray soul turned blue and green..
You filled it with life..
You touched my rain cold soul..
And warmed it like the kiss of a spring sun..
On the day you left me..
Forever to the blue skies..
Forever to the stars we cannot see..
You left a shine with me..
One that will never dim..
One that lives on through me..
And one day I hope to spark it in someone else..
Even if its just a glimmer of it..
Even if its just a shimmer of it..
Or even a glow of it..
Your light will carry on and on..

The oceans here..
The rivers inside of them..
Blue universe with green lifelines..
White statues made by fallen angels..
The lake house that floated on the lake..
On green and blue waters..
Dreams of shadows and light..
The songs sung by everything..
Sung in reverse and forward..
Streams of light mist in the night..
Heaven shines forever here..
The inside of a star..
The star you have become..
For others to gaze upon..
Where you become a sun..
In someone else's sky...............................
GOD BLESS............................

The early bright chased away shadows in its slow rising scintillant song.  Very little stars were left in the sky.. The purples and oranges that painted the sky soon turned into atomoshere blue.  The dawn-to-dark song was in full bloom..  The lyrics sung about colors the light of the day would award my deep brown eyes. Some of them also spoke of the coming nighttide that was well on its way to catch us all.   On eventide I walk up to the hills.. The night slowly makes love to the day and lays her down to sleep..  There I begin to count the stars.. Until there are to many to count..  As there is no moon to shine down on my star parade I clearly see the vault of heaven in all its beautiful cosmic glory.. The night is in full bloom........

It was a boardwalk on the stars it seemed.. On the otherside of the universe.. I got to walk it.. It was raining light here and there.. The air smelled of star jasmine..  I could see your eyes every now and again as a raindrop of light would pass by them..  They were a deep dreamy brown that seem to swirl away all of my worries.. I was in your dream.. Somehow I made it here.. Or maybe you summoned me here..  I wonder what I look like to you in the fallen light rain? Do my eyes shine as bright as yours?

In the night blooms the flowers..
Unseen by sunlight..
Shadows dance in the pale moonlight..
Blooming pedal's dusk towers..

In the chamber on the sea mountain side..
Flame burns sky blue...
Wooden floor kissed with golden sand..
The dreamers arrive soon..

The flower colors in the moonlight..
Mixed in with glowing silver rays..
Can't tell if they are blue or maybe a dark gray..
Soon the sun will award true color from the dying night..

The dreamers gather in the chamber by the sea..
They form a lighthouse of imaginations and dreams..
For the mind eye to open and see..
That the stars above are really part of you and me...

We walked through the flood waters to the green hill.  It was the only high ground around.  The sun shined down and we could see through the clear waters.. We watched the fish go by.. It was a beautiful peace..

Walking at night with no flash light..
Thunderstorms on the way.
Lightning blues color black blue..
Stars leave to someone else's dreams.
Streetlights on in the corner before dawn..
Sun rises in the storm.

Its like music. The intro to a song.  The way the intro captures the creation of an emotion.  It feels the same.  It sets the stage and tone of the the emotion engine that is about to drive your soul to another place..

The blue star colored energy mist itself around me.  It connects itself to everything that is me. To my soul, to my mood, to my memories, and to everything that I love.  I then feel a beautiful surge of energy travel through every cell that makes me alive, every nerve that makes me feel, all of my beautiful memories that make me smile.  I aim myself toward the stars above, or the deep blue sky.  Once I have absorbed all the star blue energy I star leap out of the earth and take flight among the stars.  I take flight to destination FOREVER...

I could not find you in the woods..
With the moon as my light..
You were lost in seven thoughts..
Lost and out of sight..

Your light steps were fading..
Your stardust too..
Pinch harmonics and shadow voices..
Are coming through..

I see you looking toward the stars..
And then you look toward me..
Your eyes are filled with moonlight..
You shine and leave to the star sea..

In our small little peaceful village North of the mountains.  We found a new way to live. We got away from the Red voice army and made a new life.  We all lost someone to the R.V.A.  They were ruthless and wanted everyone and everything for themselves.  They overthrew all governments of the world 50 years ago.  They had super advanced weapons and just a group of them could take out an army.  

They called themselves the Red voice army because of a certain weapon they use.  It is a sort of mini rail gun the emits a powerful wave of red energy. The sound it makes sounds like a wicked scream.  What ever the red energy passes through will leave behind only ash.  Nothing has been able to stand up to it.  None of them can be killed because of a strange suit they ware. No bullet or explosion can break through their suit.  

It was a beautiful April day. It had stormed early this morning and now the sun and raindrops color the grass.  One of the new villagers who arrived a month ago was walking alone in the grass.  His name was Dalis. He stood 6'11 and must of weighed over 280lbs.  He was one of the best builders we had. But kept to himself.  A group of us went down to the river to collect water and and hopefully catch some fish.  It was then we heard the red scream.  They had found us!  

Everyone in the village was at a panic. There was no where to run.  They had us surrounded.   I looked toward the fields and saw Dalis. In front of him were 2 R.V.A soldiers.  I then saw a red flash and heard a red scream. Dalis had turned into ash.  

They gathered us all up.  Deciding who would die and who would serve them.  The old folk were going to be the first to die. They only wanted young bodies to do their labor.  They lined up all the elders. Pointed their weapons.  But before they could fire, a blaze of endless lightning danced around the fields.  Strange thing was there was not a cloud in the sky.  The lightning was coming from Dalis's ashes.  His ashes begin to glow blue.  And in a magnificent flash of blue light stood Dalis.  He wore a strange beautiful blue armor.  There were red screams everywhere. All the R.V.A soldiers fired their weapons at Dalis.  But had no effect at all. Dalis walked toward all the soldiers.  He then held his hand toward the sky and a bolt of lightning struck it leaving behind a lance made out of lightning and some kind of metal.  He killed all the soldiers in an instant but left one alive.  He told them to go back and tell the R.V.A that he is coming for all of them.  The soldier left running!

Dalis, He came from the lightning.  Or from somewhere else.  There is no more R.V.A.  Dalis made sure of that.  We are at peace now.  We never saw Dalis again.  But the lightning storms remind me of him.

They called him Sol. Sol is spanish for Sun.   He was called Sol because on our darkest hour he made the eternal night into day.  

They came to our planet and darken the skies with their megaships.  All key cities were hit all over the world first. Destroyed by impossible walking death machines.  No one was left alive.  They attacked in such a pattern that it would stray the remaining people alive toward a destination where they could be exterminated all at once.   In the flat lands of North Texas we could see them all coming in our direction from all around us. As they got closer we could hear their footsteps rumble like thunder.  It would not be long now. Everyone started to say goodbye to eachother.  

I had my eyes closed tight. I did not want to see my end happen.  But under my eyelids I begin to see red.  It was the sun above.  It shined brighter than ever before.  The sun seem to be coming down on us slowly.  It was a man in beautiful strange armor.  He then unsheathed to magnificent swords burning with blue and white fire.. He then bolted through the sky toward one of the walking death machines destroying it in a ball of white and blue light.  He then streaked toward the rest of the walking death machines destroying all of them leaving behind flames of blue and white.    

He then flew back toward us all. A beautiful sun in the sky he was.  His light was warm and beautiful.  He walked among us all healing us with his light.  I was no longer scared. All my fears were gone.  He then went after one of the megaships destroying it in the sky.  The other ships fled back to the stars.  It was the end of the end.  And the beginning of us again.  One of the kids called him El Sol.

That late evening drive was just what I needed.  With music to keep me company and help clear my thoughts.  The setting sun created oranges and purples for my eyes to make love to.   I would pass over rivers that looked like mirrors that looked like false skies flowing below me.  I drove and I drove. To no where. To everywhere.

It was like her hair captured the sunlight and created a whole new color.  It was the color called "Beauty."  My chest got heavy and I almost forgot to breathe.  If the soul is colorless her smile in the sun gave color to mine.  Until the one day she smiled at me..  I saw an aura of colors that could create a universe.

I have looked to the night sky in my dreams many times.
Sometimes the stars are leaving.  
They shine brightly for a moment and then blast off into the universe..
This time the stars were chasing eachother..
I could see them..
It was as if the stars were childeren playing tag with eachother.
But then they noticed me looking at them..
They stopped for a brief moment..
Then faded into the darkness..
This strange beyond is reaching out to me..
Again and again..
I love it!!
Makes me feel at home!
Which makes me question..
Where is home?

The celler door lead into the attic. If that makes sense.

That math test in my dreams is even hard.. Even in the dream realm I didn't try and cheat on it. I do my best though.

I had a dream about thunder. I awoke to silence.  Went out the back door to look at the sky.  It was full of stars.  No moon.   The thunder came from a storm I remembered.  It was a storm with no rain.  Just lightning and thunder.  Endless blue blazing.  No stars. Just clouds.  I could smell the rain that didn't fall. I want to smell the rain in my dreams. When I almost forget what the rain smells like.

The air was warm and cool all at once..
The oncoming storm was a beautiful chaos among the ambient ocean..
The sky was full of colors.  The colors made love to my eyes and soul..
There was enough sunlight to form a double rainbow.. Arcs of rain colors showed all of the storms emotions..  
Soon I will be the lightning..
When I finally leave for the stars again..
Only there are no stars in this beautiful view..
Only memories of colors that I swear I hear music in..
The stars are beyond..
And this storm is here..
And I for now would much rather be here..

Endless shadow... Endless shade.. There was nothing more but dusk and forgotten day..  For millions of years it was dark beyond dark.  It was our peace and their end.  But all it took was a spark.  A small spark 1000 years ago.  Today that spark became a ray of light.  It cut through all of our darkness in an instant.  And their it stood.  A being made of nothing but pure light.  It shined and shined forever in all directions.  We could not stop it.  It pushed us all away..  Across the universe and in to another.  The light then brought color and life to whatever it touched.  This being of light however only had so much time to shine.  It later died out as our darkness took back over.  Or so we thought.  Its near endless light still travels today across the cosmos.  Creating more light in its wake.  This being that shined that day is called a star.  Now they are all over the universe. And forever will be. Because we thought nothing could ever break our darkness. But all it took was a spark.

The shop of Little Wonders. Found with a hum that one can only dream of.  A song about how small things have a big effect on the world around us.  Today the lady bugs arrive with gifts of summer magic to this mini shop of little wonders under the grass.  


The Sun wax candle:
This candle has no wick.. But it still can be lit..  It is made out of sun wax.  Once lit the flame will float above the sun wax.  The flame will sustain the day so long as it is lit. A strong magic.  Only ones with true fire can light it....

The Spinner of forgotten time:
Looks much like a fidget spinner.  Created by lost time and time that flies by when you are having fun.  Can be spun once a day to stop time for 10 seconds.  Once spun the Spinner of forgotten time turns into a small galaxy to rearrange time in this galaxy.  A very strong magic.  Only those who have held the needles of time can spin it.

They came out of the dark wilderness..
My solitude and my peace..
Some of my thoughts will sometimes drift to them..
These shadows come and go..
A strange peace indeed..
In darkness where everything can be seen..
As if there were light but truly there wasn't..
Thats what the dark wilderness is..
A wild darkness untainted by hate or malice..
True darkness..
Its where my solitude and peace come from..
Its where they will return..
Along side me someday.   .. . . . . .. .           .. .       . .. . . . .. .

Down these roads I go..
Part of my heaven I suppose..
To destination no where..
Forever on these roads to elsewhere..
Ill stop here and there..
And meet people everywhere..
Small towns for my dreams to remember..
When I sleep without surrender..
Away from the sun I drive..
And into the night I dive..
Under stars that remember me..
With music to keep me company...

On the horizon was green lit clouds..
Green lightning would dance across the sky.  
The thunder sounded different though..
It almost sounded like a million french horns in the sky..
The green lit clouds rolled in dropping glowing rain..
The rain made all the dead yellow grass green in an instant..
As the rain fell on me I felt the cool drops turn warm as they touched my body..
The air smelled of something beautiful I could not describe..
Every breath I took seeem to add years to my life..
I felt my body getting tight..
My hair started to grow longer..
The life storms rolled away leaving everything full of life..
The dead trees were now full of leaves..
Flowers with light glowing pedals colored the fields..
There were rain months fluttering toward us..
Their wings glowed with emreald shine..
Where did that storm come from?

I can tell you the neverminds..
I can tell you how far we are behind..
I know I won't be alone..
I know I am full of unknowns..
Some of my songs are about you..
Some of my poems too..
Some of my dreams came true..
Some of my nightmares too..
The ghost are coming..
The ghost are running..
The ghost are singing..
The ghost are dreaming..
The song is playing..
The song is fading..
The song is repeating..
What I have been saying...............................

mOST EVERYTHING IS IN BLACK AND WHITE..
eVEN THE BLUE SKY
mY SOUL FLOATS THROUGH ALL MY MEMORIES..
oVER AND OVER AGAIN..
rIGHT NOW I SEE YOU..
iNSIDE A CIRCLE IN THE SKY
eNGULFED IN COLORS..
sUN OF MY MEMORIES..

It was a one star early evening..  
I was walking thinking of you..
Alone in the twilight you were..
Wrapped in darkness and dying light..
I wondered if you thought of me..
I wondered if you could see the night cathing up to my soul..
And once it did I lost you in the now black star filled sky..
You were there somewhere..
You watched me looking for you..
Until  early tomorrow evening..
When you are the only one high in the sky..
Wrapped in darkness and dying light..
We see eachother...
Before the night mixes you away..

There you go again.  With that smile.  I really cannot turn away from such a smile.  So I smile back.  As our brown eyes lock for but a moment.. Everything is forgotten around me. I don't know where I am, I don't know who is talking, all I know is that my eyes are locked to yours..   This is how you make a dream..  Take that moment and multiply by itself.. That will equal " Me getting lost in you."

The rain woke me up..
I got up and looked out the window..
And the rain fell with silent lightning dancing about..
I saw myself..
For a moment as the raindrop fell..
I saw myself..
For a moment as the lightning streaked through the sky..
I saw myself as the storm blue lightning sky..
It was then a strange machine lit up blue..
With my memories of me it grew brighter and brighter..
It was a beautiful machine made out of imagination glass..
It was a beautiful machine made out of memories of light..
I called it a Lightcycle..  Starglass and light... Driven by and emotion engine.. And endless thoughts..  The starglass shell filled in with lightning and endless blues..  
I built my Lightcycle again..
Simply by remembering it..
The lightning birds flew around me..
I was ready to open my electric wings again...
Its been so long..

The sun hit your face in such a way I forgot what we were talking about.. I felt it in my chest.. My eyes told me, " This is what beautiful is."

A certain light shines on you when you love..
You then emit that light to the ones you love..
In turn they emit it back when they love you..
Love creates happiness only when you share it..
Don't be afraid to do so..
And remember to love yourself..
It will make you shine...

I have been running in my dreams.. Running on random roads at night.. The air feels good.. The air I breathe in feels crisp as it gives life to me.  I run down winding dirt roads to places unknown..  I run and I run..  Never do I tire nor do my legs ever hurt..  In one dream I ran in the night only to catch up to the sun.. I was running so fast I was able to catch up to the day.. The sun did not rise it instead fell from high above..  Once I caught the day I finally stood still. The sun knew I had caught it..  I then ran back to the night..  To places deep in my mind.. Beautiful places of peace..  So if you can still run.. Do so every once in a while.. It truly is a gift..