Broken crayons still write but broken dreams remain shattered.

Addicted to the rush of the bubbles across my lips
Not so much a physical fetish but just a psychological condition
Of being dependent on a liquid that fizzes
Like the feeling of running down the aisles of empty seats
Feeling like a god, gliding on air to jump onto an unpeopled stage
With an unfocused spotlight
My vision is blurry and my head is spinning and
I'm falling in circles and it's wonderful
Bubbles coming up my throat
And it reminds me of thinking of you
The aches in the back of my calves
Running my fingers down the cold skin with nothing to warm me
But a feeling of warmth radiating out from my core
I'm in love with being tall and proud
In an empty room
With a styrofoam cup freshly drained
And nothing but love on the brain

Up in the morning, and pull your hair in a ponytail, brush the greasy strands out, block out the pallor with overkill blush. Sling your bag over one shoulder and give yourself more problems, more pain with every book you add, every line of knowledge you absorb through the osmosis of sitting bored and dull through seven hours. Walk on eggshells down the hall, numb like you're dead on your feet, and lace your sweaty fingers with his. Punctuate every thought you have with lol, to make it seem less serious in real life. Hold back the arsenic you taste in your brain. Sit behind a desk and ignore the sound of social lives blaring like white noise in the background of your life. You are not the main character of your own life. You are stuck in the static.

My head is threatening to burst open
And spill your poison
All over the floor

Words are strong enough by themselves
But when they come from you
They are like Samson tearing down the roof of my mouth
When I try to whisper, to negate what I've said
Because now the feeling's dead
Is it my fault that my clock is set a little bit ahead?
I can't control the voices that are telling me
That no matter how close we are
There are always sharp edges
To press into me, to leave your scars

It's something ambiguous, like the punk rock first few bars of your favorite song, during which any listener could point left or right, to a minor or major key; but I try not to buy in. It wouldn't suit me to let these thoughts fill my head, to walk on eggshells yet again. I sprung the first trap right under my feet while I was standing next to you...Looking up in that awkward angle so that I was looking up and maybe a little left or right, still avoiding the signs pointing to barren futures that haven't sown their seeds into the earth just yet. I try not to count on fate, what is supposedly written in the stars. Because I can feel the wet droplets of tears, either of joy or sorrow (that accurséd left or right) clenched in my fist on a quiet Friday night when you're not here. That is to say, I can feel the space beneath my sheets that is minus one of you. I am solitary for now, and I carry on down my paths diverging-yes, left or right-because I want to follow you. Not to fall. I'm still afraid of that part. Maybe further down the road, the fog will roll away. I carry on to meet you, at the fork of the road someday.

Sam
a kiss from your lips, for a brief moment time stopped and i was in a perpetual heaven. i talk to you every night and all i can do is smile and try to hear your voice and see the look of happiness on your face because your smile is the fuel that keeps me going your voice is the oil that keeps me moving. when you hold on to my arm i feel… real. your embrace completes me in more ways than you know. when I’m alone with you and you simply lay in my arms i am overcome with a sense oh happiness i haven’t felt in what feels like an eternity. just as you have fallen from heaven i have fallen for you and all your beauty. when i look at you your eyes they shine like an island of green and brown surrounded by an ocean of blue waves crashing against the shore. what i can only describe as a section of the vast universal dark that is your pupal and everything around it lets me see the entire universe and its wonders all contained in your beautiful eyes. sam if i had the power to change any aspect of you let god strike me down if i ever had the thought of changing what is comparable only to perfection. I want to fall asleep with you wrapped around me i want to wake up to your shining eyes kiss your lips and lay there for eternity. all i can think about is you, you consume my thoughts every hour of every day of every night. i felt lost in the world of love. I always wanted to know if the ****** love songs you hear on the radio are really love, there not. love is looking into the eyes of someone you care for and being able to tell every little detail on her mind read her like a book. when i stare into your eyes i see waves of light conveying every possible emotion expressed in slight movement of muscles in your beautiful  face, the slightest grin says a million words. when we were finally able to express how we truly felt when are lips touched and we both drew back for air, the look in your eyes made me melt. the smile you gave me was unreal i can’t even describe it, all i knew was that i loved you and i saw love in your eyes. sam you are the best thing that has happened to me in ten years. i am not worthy of a girl like you. it feels like i have known you for eternity but not even an eternity is enough to truly know someone with this much character, emotion, experiences, and beauty. i can’t say how happy i am to be on this earth, to sit in my truck with your head resting on my shoulder or to rap my arms around you and kiss your neck, to simply look into your eyes and see something more than a blank stare that just looks past me. I’m not sure what it is that draws me to you so much but what ever it is i thank god for it. i have even given the opportunity to love someone to perfect. all i can say about you is that even though the word love is tossed around way to much these days i can’t think of a better word to describe how i feel about you. i just have to show you how much that word is meant when its used with your name.