I miss driving with you.

Cruising down summer roads,
any roads
music up.

You ask me to
play you music that
I used to play when driving.

But I can't remember
any of those songs.

I miss the feeling,
the feeling of the steering wheel
beneath my wrists.

Miss the sounds and smells
Miss the feeling of being carefree.

We need a car of our own.
So I can drive you around
again.

My drivers license is sitting unused
after years of abuse.

I want to be your driver,
be your chariot.

There was something so sweet
about the in between moments.

Something I thought only I noticed.

But she noticed too.
In her minds eye.

She sees me see her,
hand on thigh.

I just want to drive her again.
I want to buy her a Mercedes Benz.

Just to chase those moments.

The ones in between.

Between home and destination.
Between heart and palpation.

Words are,

words are personal and stupid

all at the same time.

The only way I can say anything to you is

annugh nee nee gannufgh fgha

Just kidding.

I made that language up.

"Can you please stay until he leaves?"

I slip the note to you across the counter.

You, take one look at the man, crumple the note and nod, stuffing the evidence into your pocket.

Me, loose lips and sweaty palms.
Shifty eyes on the guy who will not leave.

You, make yourself comfortable,
take up space.

You are loud.

You make the man feel unwelcome.

He leaves,

I breathe,

you come up to me.

"What the hell was that?"

Me
in tears,
not in tears.

Shaking with fear,
fighting for breath.

"He makes me really uncomfortable. He has said things to me that are, disgusting..."

You ask why I still let him in.

I tell you that my boss doesn't get it..

because..
because..

"Because he's a dude."  you say.

"Because he's a dude."

You look me in the eye and tell me that you would never let anything happen to me, that your husband is in the car outside and it would have gotten serious if it needed too.

We have an unspoken bond now.

Her and I.

Thank you.

Drops of depth

Morning breath.

I am becoming more meat than bone.

Sleeping woman, sleeping lover,

beside me, my home.

Simple lover, simply sleeping
I missed the last lunar eclipse.

You've been mine forever now,
and I have proof in pics.

Tiny moons on the floor,
We never fight nor need the door.

Tiny baby
tiny moon
All I ever need is you.

Blankets
Pillows
Our fat cat.

Goodnight moon this is the sun,
good night moon you are the one.

These sights
these sounds,

bittersweet on my tongue.

Acid reflux afternoons.
Stomach bile mornings.

Wasted nights,
wasting away.

Vomiting for
vomits sake.

Dehydration nation.

Please don't tell my mom.

plastic capsules
plastic manuals
plastic life

my tongue shifts,
fights
words once said

thoughts once uttered
head in the
gutter

I am an anomaly

bone teeth barren grin
paper spiders
paper skin

open window
open kin

Let them out,
see them in.

Tiny words fight against
clasped lips.

Bruised hips and
cosmic oxygen.

When life is a sin,
it's worth living in,
worth waiting for
the horizon.

So bring me the sun,
bring me my gun,
bring me gin.

Give me false grins,
and
false positives.

Tip back the flask but all you taste
is hot hose water.

Cold water turned warm by the August summer sun.