I loved you a long time ago,
how are you doing now.

Clouds linger of previous times, previous moments.

Always getting caught in the rain,
but together it was
heven.

We were drenched one time and I got you a towel,
we were caught one time and we were powerful.

You gave up too soon,
my darling.

I told you I would have kids.

As if...

You are now but a memory.

A fragrance I can't grasp.

But...

You will always have a place

in this
heart.

Scratches, scratches at the door,

where am I?

I know the bed, I know the floor.

But I have never been
here before.

I am trapped,
I am guarded.

My nails dig deep into the paint,
aesthetic disregarded.

Help.

Where is my family,

I am alone I am

Dying.

I haven't eaten for days,
it feels.

Oh wait,

My human came home.

She has pets and dinner.

Disregard what I just said.

I tell too many stories.

I give away too many secrets.

My mind is mush, my mind is
mush.

I don't know how long,

how long.

But.

The cloud is big.

The weathermen have been killed.

I take these pills to try and reside
somewhere close to
here.

Sometimes I feel the end is near.

Years go by without warning,
I'm getting older,
I'm getting boring.

Dear someone save our souls.

We're powerless in this world.

Are these the moments that I'll forget tomorrow.

Are these the memories
that will soon bring sorrow.

How do I know when,
I am in the good.

How do I know what I'll feel
a year from now.

It scares me,

as I'm going to bed.

Things will be gone.

Nothing is easy and nothing
is what it's been.

Are these the moments that get buried.

I dreamt of you last night.

Short hair and rosy cheeks.

But you still left me.

God, if that isn't a sign I don't know what is.

Even when I dream of you, you still leave.

She smelled like roses.

No,

something better than that.

I was in love with this girl for a while.

Pining, crying,

the usual.

She was so out of reach and then,

I don't know how but
I got the chance of a life time.

It started with knees.
After an episode or two of orange is the new black.

I realized I couldn't live without trying.

So I touched my knee to hers.

And then....

She was in my bed. And she smelt amazing.

I put my nose between the bra of the girl I had been in love with for most of highschool.

It was

mind blowing.

She smelt like roses,

or,

what you imagine the sweetest smell to be.

I've never smelt anything quite like that.

She smelled like happiness.

I remember putting my face between her *******,
over and on top of,

Just taking it in.

Sometimes I think about whether or not I'm really a lesbian,

and then I remember her.

So thanks, I guess...

You fragile tease.

Also known as,

My first love.

Remember that time I offered you a ride but you said
you already had one
with one of the
guys.

Which is funny because you once said to me,

"I love riding with you,"

Because I sang along to the radio
and danced in my seat.

Do you remember telling me
that I

made a purple sweater and a magenta cap
look beautiful.

Because I remember you taking the time to
message me that.

I remember driving a car illegally,
that is,

without a license
to pick you up at
midnight.

I remember the way you looked at me.

And I remember the way
you treated me
after I became
dead weight.

I remember when you put your hand atop my hand
and
pretended like nothing had happened.

The worst strangers
are the ones
you used to know.

Once we went to the mini houses.

All of the doors were small.

Once we met up at the end of a trail, and there was a bridge that we sat on.

But the tiny village was better.

Tiny doors and tiny lawns.

I don't know if it was the ****.

Tiny houses, tiny problems.

One day I will open the door and be me, that lesbian.