It could be fun,

Or it could be
a repeat
of last time.

Boys, cottage, girls, drugs,
me?

The last time I went to a cottage,
I cried until I was taken home.

The time before that, I was with a group of
people and

things,

they weren't great.

I have not been to the cottage
since

2013.

The year things happened.

Maybe this year
I can overcome that
fear.

There are signs of you

all over the home now.

Little memories
and little mementos.

Clues and reminders that you are real
and not
just a
concept.

I cannot wait to meet you,

little one.

I love how nothing changed.

Oop, and then it did.

You're too young for this.

Stop.

Why can't I tell you not to do how I used too.

I had you and then I didn't.

I swear I did my best.

I wish I could protect you forever.

From what?

From men.

I don't want you to get hurt.

You are very smart and I trust you but,

It won't be long.

Stay strong.

Punk rebel daughter.

Drifting off to sleep,

when rain falls like sheep.

Wait, are we sleeping or is it raining.

Caught between dreams, nothing seems,
seems real.

Have you ever been there?

Dreams are more than they seem, I am telling you
from
experience.

Eyes closed, mind faded until you're mind is open and your eyes are faded.

It's only then you have total control.

I'm getting mad and sad all at once.

Is that allowed.

Memory is like a tornado these days.

All I want is a cat.

The sun sets in the east.

and,

the weeping willows are starting to cry.

I drive past flowers, across rivers, across lilies

Nothing will ever be as sweet as you.

Butterfly shoulders and waterfall heart.

It's all in the beginning.

Seaside shorelines, borderline beginnings.

I think I know what I want.

Paths between fait and faith,
forgiveness, overbearing.

Like twists and turns of tides, riptides, or undertow,
You will probably never know.

Know where you are going.

Tomorrow is like looking through a kaleidoscope of different outcomes.

Be it triumph be it trump.

Be it failure, be it sunk.

It's all in how you see it,

I suppose.

I wish I could see properly.