I stand tall
I am big
I am strong
I am the Eiffel Tower
The Statue of Liberty
The Great Wall
I stand tall
Taller than you all
I am big
I am strong
Because I know my flaws

I hate the way
Some people look at me
Like I'm some disgusting thing
Like the sight of me makes them want to puke
Out all their narrow-minded, egotistical leftovers
They look at me like I'm some unknown creature
From deep within the most taboo places
They look at me like I'm a
Disgrace
Disappointment
*****
*****,
Filthy,
Disgusting
****-up
But maybe they have every right
To look at me that way.

I can't trust myself around them
I know I turn into a monster
  Or something even worse
I can't trust myself around you
  I know I'd either *******
   Or ****** you
I can't trust myself around me
I know I just think about the bad things
  And make myself go insane.

I want you
To do
So many things to me
I want you to breathe me in
Like I'm the summer air
I want you to stare at me
Like I'm actually beautiful
I want you to hold my hand
Like it was made to fit
I want you to kiss me
Like I taste like candy
I want you **** me
Like I'm an animal
I want you to love me
Like you actually care

I'm sitting here
At the foot of my bed
On my hands and knees
Praying to a god I don't even believe in
I'm praying
I'm yearning
I'm hoping
For everything to be right again
For everything to be like it used to be
I've missed it all
So much
Please god
If you're up there
Let it all go back
To how it used to be

Everything's spinning around me
I'm fading into the dark
I'm trembling
I'm sobbing
I'm screaming
I'm biting my bottom lip so hard
That it bleeds
I can't escape this hell
I can't escape myself
No matter how hard I try.

They've hurt me so much
They've torn me down
Beat me up
And ****** on what was left
But now,
I've gotten so used it
I can't feel it anymore
All I do now is lay there
And wait for someone to give
The final blow