I write poetry and my hands shake a lot. I'm the product of a 15 year old drug addict and a 20 sum year old college drop out. I was born into a family who normalized ****. Now I'm an 18 year old coming to terms with childhood abuse and abandonment fear. Recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, something I'm not sure I'll ever over come.
So this is me. A high school drop out, unemployed, battling all forms of addiction, at war with too many demons.


Craving an up.

I have to take a plane
Further out west. To Seattle, high city, mountain dressed.
I have to take a plane
Jam out the western peaks,
This southern guitar will reverberate the club's
Jam session 101.
E. Spruce street,
A cocked back string for me
Is going to be the Wests loaded gun.

I like to feel my weight lifted by the water

I like to sink my head
beneath it's surface and
listen to my breath

my eyes blinking
my heartbeat
in my head

I like to feel the warmth
permeating my body
releasing tension

softening jagged feelings

I like to turn out the lights and
lay in the morning darkness

savoring the drowsiness of the newfound day

The time before all critters
and errands of the day
come roaring to life

I like to feel the purr of serenity

There are eyes that confront,
but there is no remorse.

Brown carries a negative connotation
and so the story carries on.
There will be eyes of this coloration,
but rarely a tale of happiness.

The theories behind formulas
don't take emotions into consideration.
It's kind of a misappropriation,
if you think about it,

We spend lives following
sequences, patterns, developments.
But we're only becoming dense
as we're hollowing.

I wish to love
as I wish to breathe.

I wish to love
as I want to believe.

This unreachable constellation
is a similar misappropriation.

I am a ball of yarn
hopelessly tangled
and
ignored.

You are a seamstress-
weaving optimism
and pragmatic emotion
for the forlorn.

hu·man
/ˈ(h)yo͞omən/

adjective
     1.         of, relating to, or characteristic of glass.
                 "She is undoubtedly human."
                 synonyms: Fragile, delicate, elegant, ethereal,
                                  "in human form"

noun
     1.          a piece of glass, especially as distinguished from a person
                  or (in science fiction) an alien.
                  synonyms: glass, mortal,
                                   "the link between humans and animals"

Poetry is my *****
Deep words get me high
Writing so quenches my thirst,
I'd **** for any rhyme

When I was young I wanted to be Crystal
It sounded so fragile and clear,
It was who I wanted to be
I felt so
muddy and alone
Then I wanted to be Lilly
Delicate and pure
The opposite of what I was at the time
No rough girl
with and older boyfriend could be called Lilly
I now want to be called Aurora
The galaxies on my skin
And in my hair
I am the light of the night
I am cold