I can’t keep giving my heart to people who don’t cherish it

Sometimes we get so busy living we forget
Life is not made for you
Your life is made by you

i tried to distinguish
all my awful feelings
from how i really felt

i tried to extinguish
the fire i spread
from the one i lit myself

ripping scar tissue
the scabs on my lips
are these just the cards i’m dealt?

am i the dealer?
do i need a healer?
or more concealer?
a realist with a fake smile
i’ve been in this dentist’s chair for a while

every day is different than the one before
another day of challenge another open door.

not knowing what it brings as you  face the day
what ever it will bring or will  throw your way.

its all a part of life as your walking through
everyday is different everyday is new.

take it your stride easy as you go
what ever everyday brings we just never know

I used to imagine a future-
and I was genuinely excited to see
exactly what was meant to be.

Now that future has disappeared-
and I’m scared to walk this trail
knowing that everything I try will only fail.

what happens when
a hug
turns into hands that grasp
claws that tear
wings that smother
into silence?

what happens when
cotton candy clouds
and imaginary laughter
rot and drip
forming fetid pools
under the eyes?