When you died
the world did not change.

A pebble tossed to the bottom
of a bottomless lake
left only a fractional ripple
and disappeared.

That you were here
mattered very little.
It did not change the tides
or stop the winds.

In your end
A handful of family and friends
felt deep anguish
but the world still turned.
Infinity still burned.
Eternity did not feel
the aching cost of loving that
which was forever lost.

The view outside my window
Did not stay the same.
The season changed.

I felt the cycles of pain
bouncing back
year after year
harder at first then softening some;
Waking in pain,
then easing some.

Till, I was intermittently numb.
Then I forgot to grieve.
You are still a part of me
but even I go on
turning like the earth, without you.

When the dark days come
and a man searches
for high ground

like a lost explorer,
a man going nowhere,

a wanderer with no ballad,

a man who dreams
to the beat of the dark
night's drum

playing light
of the moon, yet
out of tune

like the gloom only a poet
feels alone in a cold room.

I've only got one bar
on my phone and there's only
one more between here and home.
Ten dollars in my pocket may as well
be a thousand. Like a penny
in the fusebox, I could make it last
until the lights go out. There's a cowboy
band playing. A wooden Indian
by the door. I don't think he listens
to their stories anymore. He's quiet
on the subject. He's quite an object
of curiosity. Instead of two-stepping
all night long, maybe I should take
that Indian home. Use the last bar
to call Coleen. Tell her to put a ***
of cowboy coffee on. We'll tell stories
of our own. Sing songs in the old way
about better days when we were young.

I’m not as loved as you think I am
I am just someone who thinks of love
share it at times but
I never got to have it.

She was dancing on the edge with a giggle
Teasing and taunting him
with the danger of all he loved to be lost
Careless
Reckless was her exsistence
and he looked on wearily
but kept his distant
Pleading
"Please let her fall I've grown so tired of this"

Tiny hands and little feet
She's the very reason my heart beats
Gripping my finger oh so tight
Kept safe in my arms all through the night

Her eyes have yet so much to see
For now she's content just gazing at me
Her life is held within my hands
Before I know it she'll be able to stand

Each day she grows and shows her strength
But like her mama she lacks in length
Her voice is angelic
Her hair so long
She looks like her daddy but she's moody like mom

I never knew that I could love someone
To this extent and this strong
She is changing my perspective and
nurishing my soul
To give her what's best is now a lifetime goal

I may not have much and I may be flawed
But I would give and change everything
to be a great mom

The sheep minded
Elevate ignorance
To celebrate
Their own mundaneness

Claim this enslavement
Is natural
That the moral
Shun the strays
Who walk in
Diverging ways

Cling to status symbols
And fashion trends

Their mind bends
To fit their servile situation

Praising the nation
Instead of humanity

Consumers not real creators
Products not innovators

Digesting stupidity
And spitting the same
Uniformed madness
Right back at me
And that is why
I love working nights

the heart feels a gypsy
the mind a vagabond
the eyes get misty
by the lilies in the pond

bloom the petals pinkish
smudged with streaks of white
swaying slow by wind's kiss
glory displayed bright

upon the slender neckline
crowns of innocent smiles
fill all dark with sunshine
wipe out weary miles

o traveler feel the invite
merrily pause to respond
be a while in sunlight
among the lilies of the pond

there's something sad about the sky
watching it fall down in colors
and paint itself to sleep
I sit and wait
for something I haven't figured out yet
listening to music that matches the hue
of the now darkened sky

I think that my disease is being okay
and living for momentary gratification
this week
nothing felt complete
you, me and everything that happened
standing in places because I should
looking at chilled and chiseled landscapes
that should transfix
but my eyes felt too hollow
not even being drunk felt like enough
I expect too much
and I feel so small

We were
on fire while
skating on ice

melting

where we stood.