chest tightening
pressure building
here we go again

throat closing
panting
coughing
crying
can't breathe
why does this
always happen?

head pounding
heart racing
mind buzzing
all i did
was say your name
out loud

I put your memories in a box
(I didn't want to need them anymore)
But I couldn't close the lid

I stared at those memories in a box
For a week or maybe three
Wondering if you had your own box
Or was it only me?

I got lost in those memories in a box
The way it felt when we kissed
Bedtime stories
and your fingers in my hair
The smell of your soap
The warmth of your arms
and the sound of I love you in my ear

I looked at those memories
with a smile and a bittersweet sigh

I put your memories in a box
and today I closed the lid

Thinking of you
Getting anxious
Needing you

*Lather
Rinse
Repeat

Two loves
Two tugging at my heart
One old and familiar
The other barely explored

Flip-flopping between the pulls
Don't know which way to go
Emotions blurred
Everything's a mess
Can't I just have you both?

Your lips
on my skin
tracing patterns
in the dark
Exploring
their old paths

Your lips
between my thighs
Tender
Gentle
Ecstasy
beyond compare

Oh, how I have missed this

My lips
form your name
The sound of it
reverberating
in every corner
of my mind

Feels so perfect
Feels so right
How could this
ever be wrong?
How could we
ever be wrong?

I keep saying
I'm done with you

I tell myself
it's over

But then
you look at me
and I melt

You kiss me
and I crumble

You touch me
and I lose all control

I'm powerless
against you